Christmas 2004

Pictures from Christmas 2004

And so this is Christmas....

What Christmas Means to me...

Alright maybe that is a little cheesy, after all I am not in elementry school am I? I just have a few thoughts on Christmas I would like to share.

I am almost 25 and it seems to me that Christmas just isn't what it used to be. Is it just me or is it totally marketed towards children and parents with children? There is this huge gap that I fall into and in this gap it feels like Christmas has lost its zing. I don't get up early to open presents anymore, and it seems like half the time you just can't wait to get Christmas over with because of all the hussle and bussle of it. Not to mention I can't even imagine having to cook a big turkey dinner for my cats let alone a house full of relatives! I want so bad to give out thoughtful gifts and not only can I not afford to I can't seem to get into it and get creative. It really isn't that much of a chore to send out some cards either is it - yet I got as far as buying the stamps and that's about it!

Christmas has become more of a stress in our lives than a joy. So what is the point of all this craziness at this time of year... what fulfillment can anyone get out of Christmas when it has stopped being... well FUN?

Do you ever stop to think 'What is the point of Christmas? What is it all about?' Ha funny, we hardly can make time to figure out what we like to do for fun so I could believe many never stop to think about the meaning of christmas! Although this year like every year I struggle to get in the mood, get the gifts I want to get for people, get the tree up, get cards out etc, this year I have stopped to think about what it means to me.

As a religious woman, for so long I wondered why does everybody celebrate Christmas when they haven't got the slightest clue as to what it is about. And why do we put up a tree and lights and give gifts and believe in Santa Claus? I have given up on those questions because I figure at some point in ones life, one will come to hear the story of Christmas. For me it is the meaning behind the biblical story that matters - and I see that meaning shine through almost everyone who celebrates Christmas.

The Lord sent his only son to this earth. He sent him as a gift, so that we could know of God's love and so that Jesus could die for our sins. Humanity was given a precious present - the most valuable gift of all. Our Lord showed his love for us by sending a man who's life would change the world forever. We celebrate Christmas to remember the story of his birth.

An Angel Gabriel came down from the heavens to tell Mary that although she was a virgin she would be giving birth to a baby boy sent from the Holy Spirit. This baby boy was the son of God and was to be named Immanuel 'God with us' also known as Jesus.

Nine months later, Mary travelled to the town of Bethleham, in the land of Judah, on a donkey to give birth to this little miracle. There was not enough room at the inn for Mary so the innkeeper put her up in a stable in which Mary could have her baby. That night a bright star shone bright above Bethleham which served as a sign for the wisemen to find them. They came and presented the baby with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. The shepards in fields nearby were visited by an angel who told them of the Lords birth. The shepards went to the stable where they found this baby boy that the angel spoke of. They spread the word across the land about this baby boy named Jesus Christ.

This is the story from which the celebration of Christmas came from. For me the meaning behind the birth of Christ has everything to do with giving, recieving and sharing. In the same way that the Lord sent us this little boy as our Messiah and Saviour of our sins, we give gifts to those we love and even those we do not know very well.

At Christmas we find small ways to let the people in our lives know that we care about them and we are there for them. Usually we spend time picking out gifts for our friends and families, but often we extend these gestures to others we don't know so well, much like the wisemen did when they travelled so far to bring a small baby such fabulous gifts. For example, the mailman, our childrens teacher, an employee or boss and many of us even extend our love to those who are in need. The community comes together to buy gifts for children who's parents can not provide them, and turkey dinners for families who otherwise would do without, more volunteers come out to help with homeless sheltars and clothing those who do not have anything at all. Christmas is a time of giving, a time of selflessness and a time of gratefulness that God sent a son to save us from ourselves.

Along with giving, recieving is a huge part of Christmas. There is a great feeling about not expecting anything from anyone and then recieving something anyways! In those moments when you are unwrapping a present - it doesn't really matter what it is that you get. It is about knowing that you are loved and cared about and someone took the time to put thought into you. Having the opportunity to express appriciation for someone thinking of you is extreamly valuable. The shepards and wisemen came to worship Jesus and to thank God for sending them such an amazing gift.

Lastly Christmas is a time of sharing, and sharing of time. No matter how hectic Christmas gets and the craziness that goes on in order to get ready for it, there is always a time of peace when we get to sit back and share ourselves with our family and friends. We share our happiness, we share our gifts and we share our time together. Perhaps this is the most important part of Christmas; making time for each other. It is both giving and recieving ourselves with people we love. Do you remember the nativity scene? The one with everything I have described above? Mary, Joseph, the wisemen, shepards and angels in a little stable with a bright star above it? It was a stable full of love; people who had come together to spend time worshipping a baby lying in a manger of hay who was a gift from our Lord.

And so over time different traditions have come about in which we celebrate Christmas. We put up a tree and decorate it, put lights up on our houses, sing carols, bake goodies, help the needy, go to church, open advent calanders, cook turkey's and take time off work! All so we can give and recieve gifts just as it happened in that little town of Bethlehem, and so we can make time to spend with people who we love and who love us.

Friendship is a long chain of understandings and adjustments.

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Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
Anaïs Nin, Diary entry, March 1937

2004 was a very rough year for me. I had to face the biggest challenges in my life to date. Within months my whole world turned upside down. I was so lucky to have good friends and family by my side because I don't know how I would have ever made it through without them. By summertime things for me had not settled but I was looking up and looking to have a good time! I had bought a new apartment in which Kate came to live with me. We had both reached turning points in our lives that may have started with a little bit of a wild summer!

We made new friends, started new relationships, got in a bit of trouble and drank way too much! In fact Shannon wrote an essay on 'The Apartment' and maybe one day if she will let me I will post it. How do I put it...

It was the best of times... and it was the worst of times.

Looking back a lot was learned that summer, friendships were tried and survived, relationships were tarnished and it was a time of self destruction and some self growth.

Below is a video I had made 2 summers ago when emotions ran high and friendships ran deep. You may never know what this video means to us (those of us in it) but it is very special and touches us every time we view it.

And to my ladies: Love you all - each of you have done tremendous things for my soul. I have learned so much and come so far, all because of u. You challenged me and cared for me and I have found in each of you something so special that words can not begin to define it. We all have our problems and all have our issues and we don't always see eye to eye, but I want you to know that I value each of you and every single one of you has made me a better person just by knowing you. Thank you for being apart of my journey and letting me be apart of your journey too! Muah!

The Apartment - 2004

Looking back on our crazy summer in 2004...

Lil Smile Behind Your Tears

Hi! I have just taught myself how to upload videos onto my blog so I'm going to town with it! Lucky for you I have very few videos to share! The one below here is one I had sent to Shannon a year ago when she was away in Sweeden by herself going to school. She had a rough day and night and it was painful to see her cry when she was so far away from her friends and family. I woke up in the morning and decided I'd make a little video to cheer her up.

You see it is a ritual the gurls and I have. Whenever one of us is sad, crying or heartbroken, we gather together with our brushes in hand and sing and dance around the sad one. At the top of our lungs, up on top of furniture and most commonly to country music we prounce around until our teary eyed friend can't help but crack a smile beneath the tears. It may seem awfully sappy to the men out there - but sometimes you would do just about anything to see the tear streaked face of your friend, smile. Often we'd all end up cryin, and laughing and usually there would be some drinking after all of that! It seemed to help even if only a little bit. When it comes right down to it, it was always more about just being there for each other and leaning on each other when it was needed most. I miss those days... we still do it but we also live so far apart now that it certainly doesn't happen as often.

Even though this video was for Shannon when she was all alone on the other side of the world, it became a hit amongst our friends when she came back home. So to anyone who is reading this... if you are feeling down and just need a little something goofy to look at to cheer you up - this may be the video for u!

ENJOY!

Cheer Up Shanny! Muah!

Time 4 Some Goofiness!

So I am liking my blog so far; so far so good. I want to share a video with you that always makes everyone laugh! I made it a year ago for my friend Shannon who was having a bad day while going to school in Sweeden! I wanted to cheer her up so I woke up one morning with a bright idea, rolled out of bed, brush in hand and made her a little video to make her day a little brighter. I'm certainly not at my best - but I think you'll like it anyways!

HuH... Responsibility???

We're adults... when did that happen? And how do we make it stop?

RESPONSIBILITY - It really does suck and it doesn't seem to go away...

Do you ever look back and wonder 'how did I get here'? From security and a worry free childhood smack dab into the middle of bills, and deadlines and being where you say you will be when you say you will be there. What???

As a child I had no concept of time, or of being late or on time... my mother had me out the door and I was on time for everything and well I thought it was all me! It was just the way it happened. Wow it was really all my mom because as an adult it seems so much harder to make time to be somewhere or go anywhere. Maybe its lifestyle choices like work and living in the city with traffic and talking on the phone too much that makes us late for things. Usually when you say to someone you will be there in half an hour you really do mean it... but then somewhere in that half hour everything happens or nothing happens and either way your late!

And what about bills? Who came up with that absurd idea? I didn't even know what one was till I was 18 and started getting those annoying letters in the mail telling me I owed. OWED? Whats that and can't someone else just take care of it for me? Funny eh? Having the money for them is only half the battle... its making the time to pay them - you know 'getting around to it'.

Errands are a crappy concept too... mailing letters, getting groceries, going to the dentist and bank, making small house repairs or trying to find someone to help. But as adults this is what we have to do - cause no one else will do it for us!

And inbetween all this working, bill paying, errand running and trying to be on time... we are supposed to find 'time for ourselves'. Sometimes I think most people don't even know what they like to do - you know as hobbies. They never have time to figure it out. We live in this super fast busy world and it never seems to slow down for two seconds! Making us late, forcing procrastination, sucking our energy from us... How can we be responsible adults and still slow down and just have fun?

If I had it my way someone would be pushing me out the door, chaffeuring me around and getting me where I need to go on time. Organizing my day so everything fits and seeing to it that I have some food and play time too! Just kidding... that is childhood and damn it was good. The real answer.... I'm not sure I have figured it out, but this is what I've got so far:

Make a point of having a 'Sunday' every week where you stay in - no errands and no plans.

Turn your phone off every now and then... its very hard trust me - I haven't done it since I was camping and my phone was out of service!

Try and live for today and don't waste all day everyday scrambling to get everything done... cause there will always be more.

Take care of your family and friends cause when life and responsiblity just seems to be too much... they can take you back to your childhood for a little bit and take a little of the weight off your shoulders.

Say No sometimes to plans and taking on too much... it feels good to know you are in control of your time and can spend it how you choose. I find I am on time for things more when its something I actually want to be doing!

Check the mail regularly and don't hide it in a drawer... I used to do that and honestly 'out of sight, out of mind' doesn't last forever!

Solve problems as they come and never expect life to be problem free. Once you accept the fact that adulthood is constant problem solving the happier you will be!

So these are a bunch of things I have been trying desperately to work on. They are all from my own personal experience (not just quotes I found) and although I am here bitching about responsiblily, adulthood has its perks too. However I think I will save that for another entry!

All we want is to be close to Somebody...

At the end of the day when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody.

So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other... its usually a load of bull.

So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to; and once we've choosen those people we tend to stay close by.

No matter how much we hurt them, the people who are still with us at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping.

And sure sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes that invasion of personal space... can be exactly what you need.