Wiser's Spin Class

Happy New Year!!!

So.... Haven't been around lately have I? I am consumed with guilt and I have every intention of catching up. Ha ha my blog should be called "Katie... Catch-up!" instead of "Catching up with Katie"! Lol I crack myself up. Anyways I do have a ton to say since my absence and it can not all be done in an evening. The thing is should I start with the recent things or go back to where I left off? Hmmmm yes that is the question. I figure I should go back to where I left off simply because all this radiation, brain cancer, chemo stuff is far more interesting than my day to day life.

Before going back a few months I would like to say:



~*~ HAPPY NEW YEARS TO ALL ~*~



I truly hope this year is everything you need it to be and you achieve everything you strive for. I wish you all happiness and great health! As for myself... I don't really do the New Years "resolutions" because I think everything and everyday is a work in progress and to try and cram a bunch of goals for the year into one day is unrealistic and unnecessary. I will deal with the days as they come to me thank you very much!

You may or may not notice to the left there is a new iPOD and I have loaded it with new songs. This is meant to inspire me to write and were songs I just felt like hearing. The site that I create the music list from is in kahoots with youtube now and therefore the video has to play. So if you click the menu button the video will go away and if you really aren't interested in the music or you find it distracts you from reading my words of wisdom... feel free to hit the pause button directly below the menu button (Its not rocket science but I am sure some of you haven't entered the world of working a pod!)

That is all for now. I hope this will be the start of a beautiful relationship. Just kidding... no really I hope that this is the start of me regularly writing again because I really do enjoy it. Good night!!!

Fluff Piece

So I haven't written since Oct 26th and that also was a fluff piece! I am alive and doing well. Last week I was feeling awful and my computer made me dizzy however this week I am feeling much better but I have been busy doing things since I feel well and have put off writing. (MILK MILK MILK) Also I was waiting to get pictures of me in the radiation room which I successfully have now. So I will try to stop putting it off and start writing... I do have interesting things to share about my experience thus far!!!

A special thanks to Shannon for helping me with the title of this blog entry! Lol

Respect Thy Shaver...

Here I am... Only a 2 weeks later!

Where do I even start?!?! Perhaps I will tell you a little bit about the Head Shaving Party we hosted on Sunday. I am not sure if you are ever `ready`to shave off 12 inches of long hair but by Sunday afternoon I felt as ready as I suppose one could feel. It was never my intention to shave it before I started treatment rather than do it a week or two into it. In my case however my treatment start date kept changing and finally when I found a day everyone said yes to I just decided to stick with it. My closest friends were in attendance - Hayley, Kookie, Sarah, Kate, Laura, Nancy, Kim, Christina and Lisa then Shannon and Alison joined us via Web cam (love technology!) and both Raff and Cam were there to keep J sane while all of the `BOK BOKKING` between the `Chickens` was going on. (By the way that means – ‘girls talking’ in Jason`s world) I could hardly blame him; 9 women in one room... 3 of which are pregnant! Eck. Everyone brought some sort of appy so we had tons of food from cheese and crackers to veggie platters to egg rolls! It was sooo yummy. And then there was wine..lots and lots of wine. Probably not the smartest of me seeing as it dehydrates you and my first treatment appointment was at 8:48am the next morning!

Our guests arrived at 4 and I think we didn`t start the festivities until around 6 or 7. Perhaps it was a little unconscious procrastination on my part. We spent time chatting and catching up and trying to get our Web Cam buddies in the room with us flawlessly. Shannon joined us first and met Kim and Cam for the first time. She was very fond of Cam because he spent the most time chatting with her. It was like she was in the room though on my 17” computer screen! Alison tuned in a little while later and met those she had never met and said hello to everyone she knew. Kate seemed to be the designated photographer... but as it turned out I came up with a huge amount of pictures on my camera!

Laura gave me a wig and hair products for it that was passed along from a work friend of hers who had cancer also. It is a really cute bob and I managed to get a picture of almost all of my friends in it. Super cute! Cam drew me a really nice card which everyone had signed and I loved it! Also they all put in to give me some money to purchase a wig of my own choice. It was a great start to my evening. We also gathered around to take a group shot of the ladies. One was nice, and one was goofy.

Finally we got the show on the road and prepared for the shaving of my head. I thought we’d lay a sheet out or something but I was convinced by everyone else that sweeping it off the laminate would be easiest. I wouldn’t know because I was not the cleaner upper. Nancy braided my hair into a tidy braid... and Jason came along and snipped it off. It was then passed around and ended up and Cam’s pho beard braid. (It looked better on me I assure you!) The first hair cut looked kind of cute and the second I defiantly looked like a butchy dyke (scuse my Japanese). It was fun and good laughs though. At some point Hayley had created a short Mohawk also. Everyone at my lil gathering gotta take hair off my head.

After about an hour of this malarkey Cam did the finishing touches and perfected my buzz cut! And we took a ton of pictures. Unfortunately we never managed to get a nice picture of my new non - existent hair with no one else in it. (Sorry mom... I’ll work on getting you one). Then to make things a little spicier... Jason sat his butt in the chair and decided last minute that it was his turn and he would shave with me. Cam shaved him old man style which was hilarious and then off with the rest of it. After all of that I got a little bit emotional (I was a little tipsy also) and Jason and I hopped into the shower to wash off the little whiskers all over ourselves.

In the meantime... Wiser was having a swell visit with Lou Bear (Kate’s yorkie) and Picca (Sarah’s kitten) running around and tearing up the house.

I think this is all for tonight. Since shaving my head I have been opened up to a new world. First off I look not half bad with a shaved head surprisingly! I have a nice shaped head; something I suppose you would not know until the hair is off. More importantly it is cold having no hair – I don’t know how guys do it without wearing a toque and ear muffs constantly. It was extremely hard not wearing a toque to bed for the first week. And lastly it is pretty neat having a 3 minute shower with time to spare! Not to mention that “towel drying” literally means “running the towel over your head to dry it”!!! LOL! There is a bright side to everything :D

Just a Quickie

Hey ya'll!

So here's the scoop... I have tons to say about my weekend and my shaved head and my first treatment however I spent most of today not feeling good or sleeping sooo I am hoping I feel a little better tomorrow and can spend my entire afternoon writing to you.

Bedtime! Love ya all! XOXO

The wait continues...

So my radiation and chemo start dates keeping getting pushed back and it has been interfering with plans of getting it started and over with!!! Well what can you do right?!?! I was supposed to start Monday then it was changed to today then the radiation receptionist called yesterday and said it had been postponed again until next Monday (Oct 26) but she didn't know why because "she is just the receptionist". He did want to see me today though. I was a little bit nervous for two reasons. One: I knew they did blood tests to check my kidneys and liver and I knew my kidneys were fine but hadn't heard back on my liver. Surely 3 years of wine drinking didn't destroy my liver right? Second: Every time I have an appointment with a specialist no matter how it goes I feel really crappy and am a write off for almost 2 full days after. I suppose my mind just goes around in circles and I get really down and turn into a hopeless lazy mess.

Luckily both fear 1 and 2 were canceled out by the end of my appointment today and on top of that I got some answers as to why they continue to postpone this very critical treatment.

Its bad but not as bad as having a shot liver at 27 (or finding out you have stage 4 brain cancer)! Basically the problem is that the space in my brain that needs to be radiated drapes down below my right eye therefore making the path of one of the radiation lasers go through my eye. The physicists are trying to work out the angles so they can get the empty spot in my head with the least amount of damage to my eye. This (the laser through the eye) will potentially cause crucial damage to my eye in terms of blindness if they can not adjust my treatment plan to lower the rate of risk. This is why my radiation Doctor would like my treatment plan revised until they can get it right. I would prefer to have the lowest percentage of risk possible! Unfortunately he did say that I will get cataracts from my treatment (which is covered by BC Medical to be removed in the future) and he said I would develop glaucoma within a couple years also. My side effects during the treatment time in regards to my eye will be red and itchy as he says they will not be able to avoid having the laser go through the back of my eye.

As you can imagine there are tons of various side effects I will potentially get throughout the next 6 weeks of treatment. The biggies are fatigue and nausea which are symptoms of both radiation and chemo. The radiation will also leave my skin (in the area of the treatment) discolored like a sunburn or tan - in my case I am certain it will sun burn. I may have balance problems and he said I would experience problems with things like math... I am not upset over this seeing as I have never been good at math even a little bit! The biggest concerns with the chemo is my WBC (white blood cell count). My immune system will be down at this time and it is best for me to NOT get sick or injure myself. I did ask about whether I could go ahead and get my gray ribbon tattoo and he said it would be best to wait simply because I will be more prone to infection at this time. Also there is a new vaccine coming out in the next week I believe to prevent the H1N1 virus. They have recommended I go to my family physician for this shot because a virus like this could kill me and as you know... it is going around.

I think that is all that went on today. I have been given next Monday now as my start date however I have not received a time. Dr. Hsu said it could be pushed back again but if I don't hear from their office on Friday, call him on Monday to get an update. I hope to hear from them because although I am not looking forward to this awful experience... its time I feel like we are doing something about it.

Oh I remember... I do have more to say (Ha don't even pretend you were surprised!) He also told me that I will loose my hair in the area of my treatment and in addition to that I will loose hair where the laser exits my head which will be the back of my head on the left hand side. So my plan of shaving my head has been finalized and will be taking place this Sunday night. I am terrified but also feel as though I am taking a stand against this disease and taking control of one of the few things I have control over. Soooo.... I got my first wig today at the wig room in Abbotsford Cancer Center! It was free and it is short. It was the only wig in the room that wasn't permed and gray. The funny part about that is even if many of the cancer patients are women over 40 - what makes anyone think that they want GRAY hair by choice ha ha! Seems very backwards to me. I would like to have a wig that is long hair either brown or reddish so I may do a little looking around.

I made tacos for dinner and watched the hockey game (we beat Chicago) and we had J's grandparents over for a visit. Ok I think that is all for now for real. Love ya all!

~*~PEACE OUT~*~

Our Little Bundle of Joy!

Haven't been around in a couple days. Been Busy living life rather than writing about it. I have new kitten photos that I have to put up on here. Wiser is never ending entertainment for us. He is sleeping now after a playful morning. It has been a whole week since he had an accident in our bed! He is sporting a new collar that J bought him at Petsmart. It is a Harley Davidson one and he doesn't love it but is getting used to the idea. He got his first taste of steak this morning. I am not a huge fan of cats eating off our dinner plates but Jason spoils him a bit. He liked the steak... and now they are both taking naps; digesting their food I guess. Lucky boys if you ask me... getting steak, eggs, toast and hashbrowns for their Saturday morn feast!

Wiser is a pleasure to have around. He attacks our feet though and I am afraid Jason encourages this behavior (especially when its my feet). I have resorted to wearing my slipper booties almost always lol. He doesn't get into too many things he shouldn't however he likes 'cords' such as computer cords and tv cables. We have had to put the Kibosh on this. Also I have caught him trying to scale up the curtains on several occasions in which case he got squirted with the spray bottle... his least favorite form of punishment. Another thing he likes I found out yesterday is shopping. Well not shopping but hanging out in the cart. I got a few cute pictures of this.

For the most part it is tricky to get mad at his sweet little face.

Good Afternoon

Howdy

We had a productive couple days. Tuesday was spent putting up all of my shelves and pictures on the walls. Re- creating the bedroom so that things fit better and so there is sufficient walking space. On my side there is my memory board and a picture collage I had made for myself as well as my Halloween scrapbook Alison made me last year, a picture of my mom as a child and a large mirror and my bookshelf. I hung two scrapbooked frames that I made a few years back of pictures of our family in Kelowna and a fan that Kookie brought me from the Philippines. I decorated the area a bit with my dying lucky bamboo, a photo album and pictures of my parents and their sisters when they were young. Those photos never actually made it to a wall before and generally lived on a shelf somewhere. It is looking really nice.


J's side of the room has my other bookshelf and he put up the big paintings that I bought years ago for my Langley apartment. Of course he also has a 52" tv on his side of the bed! He also has a lil area that he uses to keep his bass and its dressed up all boyish lol. The big plisner sign and his Raiders pennet and a danger sign.<


In all, our bedroom has become quite homey after our little transformation. I enjoy my time in here and feel that it is a calming atmosphere. Especially when I burn my scented oils from the body shop!

As for the living room, Jason has scattered some of my things throughout and found homes for my little nick knacks as well as hanging my shelves. He has hung my clocks and my kitchen pictures and every room now has a little taste of me in it :D I think it is safe to safe our apartment now feels like my home.

What are you Thankful for?!?

So we just had another Thanksgiving weekend! Whoa the dinners were absolutely amazing. Jason and I had a barbecue at his friends house in White Rock on Saturday night. Then ham, scalloped potatoes, beets, yams etc etc at his parents house on Sunday night. Monday night we were at Kim and Raff's for a huge turkey dinner. Whoa I think I will be full for a week!

This brings me to my next topic. What are you Thankful for? Every year in this season I stop to think about what I am truly thankful for in this life. Honestly it does not change a whole lot from year to year.

This year I am Thankful for:

*My Parents and Family - For giving me a childhood that was full of so much love that I attribute it to making me who I am today. For always being supportive of me no matter what dumb life decision I make. For helping me out financially even when I don't deserve it. And mostly for being amazing role models who I always look up to and who never give up on me.



*My Friends - Near or far my girlfriends have served as my lifeline. I thank them for having fun with me, crying with me, laughing with me and sharing my everyday life. You have been loyal and honest with me, helpful and considerate, my happiness and my shoulder. To each and everyone of you - I have a little piece of you in me. You are my friends because you all add to who I am and individually and as a group make me stronger and contribute to my rounded personality. I love you very much and wouldn't want a life that you weren't apart of no matter how much or how little. (I considered writing individual thank you's... but I would end up spending days on it so I will save it for when I am sick.)



*My Jason - I am so Thankful and grateful to have you. I wasn't in the whole settling down mode for quite some time and then one day I looked into your eyes and you were all I wanted. I am lucky you are here and I can't imagine my life right now without you in it. You make me happy and smiley and you drive me crazy too. I want to be a better person for you and I love you. No one makes me feel loved, wanted and needed the way you do.



*Wiser - Although I have had my little Wiser for only a week I am thankful that this little energetic fur ball has taken a true liking to me and keeps me company. He has made me fall in love already! He is my little friend and I am so happy to be spending my time with him.



*A home - I am thankful to have so many places to call home. I have the roof over my head that Jason welcomed me into as well as my parents house that although I never grew up in it, I feel like it is home every time I am there. For my many friends homes whether with their families or boyfriends... when I am with you I know I am at home.

The list really could go on and on... but for today I will leave it at that. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and take the time to remember what you are Thankful for.

In case I don't have enough friends... I got one more... just in case.

Good Morning!

As most of you know by now Jason and I have gotten a new addition to our family, making us a family of 3. His name is Wiser and he is a fluffy little gray furball kitten. He was 9 and a half weeks old when we got him and full of energy and love.

Last week Jason suggested that I get a kitten to be my little companion through the rough times ahead. I couldn't believe it. He pretends to hate cats and he calls them shitrats; I always believed deep down that he really had a soft spot for them! I started looking Wednesday afternoon and on Thursday morning I found an ad on Craigslist of the exact kitten I was looking for. J and I had narrowed it down to wanting a fluffy gray male. I called Cindy (the women with the kittens) half an hour after she posted the ad and she said she would be home after 4 and she would call so I could come take a look. I had arranged for Sarah to come with me because although Jason apparently does like cats... I figured this part wasn't truly up his alley.

Sarah and I ventured to pets mart to pick up the essentials... kitty litter, food, a pan, brush and a few toys. I managed to only spend 60 bucks in there but it would have been easy to spend more on toys for sure! We made our way to Cindy's house where there were 3 kittens. One blackish red calico and 2 gray ones. I held Wiser first and then the other gray kitten who was smaller and was lighter gray with a whiter belly. I fell in love with Wiser first and when it seemed hard to choose I thought of Jason. 'What would Jason want?' Then it was easy. You see Wiser was special because he was a polydactyl kitten meaning he had 6 toes on his front paws... making them huge and shaped like mittens. I knew for sure J would love this 'feature' and so he is the kitten I brought home.

I was right of course! Jason was thrilled about his special paws and told me I had brought home the perfect kitten who we named Wiser immediately!!! Wiser settled in very quickly. He was exploring our bedroom and was playful with us within the hour. He was eating and cleaning himself. All was well until Jason yelps, "I think he is peeing on my leg!' I looked at him and chuckled and said NO I don't think so. Sure enough the warm yellow liquid streaming out of our kitten onto the bed and on his leg... was Wiser peeing on him. I am not going to lie I was baffled because I knew Wiser knew where his pan was as he had jumped in and out of it several times. I had never had a kitten who did not instinctively know to use his litter pan immediately after being placed in it a couple of times. To make a long story short this went on Thursday night through to Saturday morning. We got 3 pees and a poo on our bed while we were in it!!!

I felt so confused because he wasn't stressed or scared and yet he kept doing it. We picked up tips on what to do from everyone... and tried them all. I am pleased to announce - our little bundle of joy has made it 2 full days without peeing or pooing anywhere other than his litter box!!! As of today he is now allowed out of the bedroom to explore the rest of his home!

All Cried Out...

Wednesday Jason and I went to meet my Medical Oncologist in Surrey. The man responsible for planning my chemotherapy treatment. His name is Dr. Al-Tourah and he was the most honest with us then any doctor to date. Unfortunately he said he is not in charge of my entire case and that the man overseeing everything is Dr. Tsu my radiation Oncologist. I didn`t care for Dr. Tsu too much but Jason liked him. My MO (medical Oncologist) layed out the severity of my case and told me that I had not been given a prognosis from previous doctors because they don`t know how to categorize my tumor due to its rarity. A glioblastoma by itself has a prognosis of 1 to 3 years after diagnosis. I have a Oligodendroglioma that mutated into a Glioblastoma therefore making my tumor slightly different then either of the two on their own. He told me that I was tested for a particular cell gene that shows whether chemo works well to kill your cells. I tested positive meaning that my cells will not respond as well to chemotherapy treatment as someone who didn`t have this gene. It is called retention of heterosigosity (gene is 1P19Q) The idea of course is to have chemo treatment as a way to weaken the cells before the radiation strikes it. I will have to take a chemo Temozolomide everyday an hour before my radiation, as well as anti-nausea medication (stronger than gravel).

There wasn`t much else to this appointment. He gave me my prescription for my anti-nausea meds which will be filled along with the temozolomide on the first day of my radiation treatment. BC medical pays for the chemo but not the other medications. I am lucky to live in Canada or I probably would have been dead by now.

Every time I come home from a specialist appointment... I feel off and emotional all day long. Almost as though I just start to wrap my head around all of the information and accept it and then it is all dug up again. I really didn't talk to anyone much on Wednesday after my appointment but the days since then have been better. In any case I am ok now and am all cried out for the time being.

Poke me one more time... and I may just hit you!

Today was my CT simulator appointment at the Abbotsford Cancer Clinic. They were trying out the mask they made on Friday to make sure their radiation plan is in sync with the machine. The mask was tighter than it was on Friday when it was made; they warned me it would be. Christina picked me up and took me there. We visited with Kookie for 10 minutes before I went down to level 0 where my radiation appointments take place. I have a cubby hole (#41) where I keep my hospital gowns and my clothes when I am in my appointments. Today was a longer appointment but it wasn't too bad other than the IV. I have stubborn veins. The nurse said that my veins are doing what they should be doing which is to move away from foreign objects (the needle). This however didn't suit me (damn bloody veins) as it meant being pricked with that thick long needle more than once. Eventually she got it and I was ok. They hooked me up to a pint of saline solution and let it drip in a half hour before the CT. Then they put the contrast (a dye so they can see into my brain better) into my drip. It feels warm and fuzzy in my throat on its way up to my head. After the CT was done I had to lie on a bed so that the rest of the saline could drip into my vein. They give me saline to keep me hydrated as the contrast dehydrates me. I was done around 4 and Christina came to pick me up and take me home.

Off to Surrey Memorial on Wednesday to meet the Medical (Chemo) Oncologist! Stay tuned!

Sunny Sunday Morning's Make Me Smile :D

Good Morning World!!

I don't know why I am acting like I am up soo early... it is 10am! I actually woke up to a message from Shan this morning telling me she got a $200 speeding ticket on her way to school in Edmonton. That sucks - but was bound to happen eventually - Sorry Shan I'm truly shocked it hadn't happened sooner. You see on Hwy 16 there are so few cars you can drive between 140 and 170 without slowing down for a good hour or so... so you do. Well I am sure my folks don't but it is a lot of open straight road!

Okay moving along. I was going to write about the horrible ending to mine and Sarah's move but now it is over with so I don't really want to get back to that topic. I will say this... we got out and our landlord still likes us and would have us live there again in a heartbeat. She was very sad to see us go.

Now for the juicy stuff! Let me first say I went with Sarah to HER doctors appointment on Thursday and since he is also my doctor I stole a bit of her appointment to ask him a few questions of my own. I was unclear and confused as to whether there was one person who over saw all areas of my tumor case and who exactly that would be. My family physician Dr. Smith told me it generally is the Medical Oncologist who over sees everything. I have yet to meet this doctor but I hope I like him/her. My appointment on Wednesday is with the Medical Oncologist in Surrey and he/she is the one who will be administering my chemo treatment. Also my Radiation Oncologist told me they probably would not do surgery on me again however my doctor believed this to be untrue. Which is good. I don't love surgery or the lasting effect it has on me during the long recovery period however I would rather having surgery every year to be on this earth another 10 years.

Friday I had an appointment at the Abbotsford Cancer Center to have my mask made. The mask (or shell as they call it) is a mesh (looks like squash racket) material that they form to your face and upper chest which hardens soo tightly to the skin so you can not move a millimeter during treatment. The making of the mask wasn't too bad... in fact it was kind of cool. If you were in the least claustrophobic this would be a life sucking procedure. I liked to think of it as a facial of some sort.

While lying on the treatment table my 3 radiation specialists explained what they were about to do. The soak a solid plastic in warm water and when it is ready they put it on my face and the 3 of them stretched it down past my shoulders to where it must be bolted to the table. This mask will be put on me everyday when I have treatment - again Thank God I am not claustrophobic! Then I could feel all 6 hands all over my face molding the mask to all the grooves and lines my face has. (that was the cool facial feeling part) My eyes were closed so it was easy to imagine it as a mud bath of some sort. They told me to keep breathing and that I was doing great... but I already knew this as I was enjoying it instead of fearing it. Then the part I didn't like started. Once they formed the mask to their liking they put cold fans at my face so it would dry faster. They were only there for approx 5 mins but it was soo cold! oh yes the other down side to this mask making was that I couldn't talk because the mask seals your lips shut! 10 minutes with no talking - TORTURE!!! LoL!

The mask hardened and they took it off and that was that. I go back on Monday at 2 so they can give me a CT and I go into a simulator of the treatment machine to make sure the lasers are lined up and will zap what they are supposed to zap.

Heinz 57 - As in I'm playing KETCHUP with my blog posts!

Hello!

Just a quick note to say finally I am done writing about my Alberta trip. Phew. I have more to write about my move and then onto the juicy stuff! I had my mask fitting today for my radiation that starts next week and Jason took some great photos for me to share with you. Unfortunately you will probably have to wait until tomorrow to check them out as I would like to post them when I write about it and I am pooped and need to fold laundry now and eat! Stay tuned!

Luvs,
Katie

THANK YOU MOM FOR ALWAYS CORRECTING MY SPELLING MISTAKES!