FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 2009 - HOME, HOME ON THE RANGE!

Today wasn’t the windy mess yesterday was. Again I spent the morning outside just me and my lap top writing away. Mom made us breakie – pancakes with blueberries and bacon and her homemade syrup. It was the earliest Jason had gotten up since being here. We were all out the door by one; family trip into Lloyd. We stopped at Wal-mart first because mom has a co-worker friend who had something to give me. We met up with her and she had crocheted a blanket for me. It is black with an edge on it of all different colors. It was really nice of her. We looked around in Wal-mart at clothes. As most people have heard me complain, I no longer fit into any of my clothes and cannot afford new ones; this makes it extremely hard to ever feel good about myself. You know how people say ‘why is that girl wearing something so tight that shows her belly?’ well I know why now... quick weight gain and unable to afford anything new. That is my boat and I am in it. So mom bought me a new pair of jeans, a black vest and a purple pink Floyd t-shirt. I love the vest and not going to lie I didn’t love the jeans but I seriously have one pair of jeans to wear right now so I have to take what I can get... at least these jeans fit me comfortably.
After Wal-mart we made our way to the Interval House (a thrift store in Lloyd). Alison and I had been there the day before but it had closed. Luckily we find out that they had the ‘Fill the bag for $5 dollars’ sale running this week on Wed, Thurs and Fri! So between J and I filled a bag and sure enough it was $5! He got a really nice pair of jeans and a T-shirt and I ended up with 2 pair of jeans, a T-shirt and a hoodie. I liked these jeans for $1.20 so much I feel I could take back the ones we got from Wal-mart.
The next errand on our list was to take Jason to Saskatchewan soil. Lloydminster is the only city in Canada that is split between two provinces. There are large orange poles on the side of Hwy 17 marking the border down the middle of Lloyd. Well actually most of Lloyd is in Alberta but the older parts seem to be in Sask. We went down the hwy a few minutes until we hit the ‘Saskatchewan Visitor Info’. It was closed as was the museum but J was happy to have his picture taken with the old tractor there to mark the significance of him having been to Saskatchewan. I wish we would have had time to drive down to Saskatoon because I think it is a beautiful city.
We headed back to Kitscoty so that we could get ourselves ready to go back out to Al’s house. I showered and did my hair and then J and I took my dad’s lil black ford into town. When we arrived at Alison’s both her sisters and niece were there. I got to say hello to Andrea and Angela. Callie was getting whiney so Andrea left just minutes after we arrived and Andrea and Angela managed to get in a fight that left Ang at Al’s house with no ride home. The four of us (Al, Curt, J and I) took off for OJ’s (Original Joe’s) for dinner. All four of us ordered fish and chips for dinner and we shared Calamari and Wings as our starters. It was a nice evening out.
We were back at Al’s by 8:30 and got started on making a fire in their fire pit outside. We had some music going and some beer. By 9:30 we had 8 people around the fire laughing and chatting. We must have been out there until midnight; J and I stayed overnight in their spare bedroom which had the same bedding (exactly the same) as J’s did at home. IKEA!!!

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 2009 - WHOA A MOUTHFUL!

One of the pleasant little quirks about this house is that when sleeping in the basement you hear every footstep taken upstairs. It creaks like the floorboards are 200 years old and at any minute the floor could give way. I actually really like the sound however it could become a nuisance to someone who wakes to every noise made. Jason seemed to sleep through it just fine. I have been getting up early but not because of the creaking which starts at approximately 5am in this household.
I spent my morning out on the patio in the sun with the chime songs in the background, writing on my computer. I can’t get an internet connection here in Kitscoty so I have been writing these blog entries on Word and will post them when I can. Jason woke up around noon and we had nice breakfast together. Then he went back downstairs to watch TV and get more ZZzzzz’s. I had made plans with Alison to go to the Interval House (Thift store) because on Thursdays they have a ‘Fill a bag for $5 dollars’ Sale. She came to pick me up after work at 3 and we went there but it was closed already  We also dropped by Claysmore (My father and Aunt’s water company) because Al needed to fill her water jug and so I could say hello to Auntie Colleen and Uncle Bob who were both there. So after the disappointment of the thrift store being closed we got some beer and thought it was time for Alison to show off her new home (as of June 09) to me. I was sooo excited because I she had sent pictures of her new place and I had heard a lot about it but had yet to see it.
She lives on the Alberta side of Lloydminster, in a peaceful little neighbourhood. Her house is very cute. There is an addition to the house that is a big open living room with light laminate flooring and their big blue sturgeon on the wall (apparently it has sentimental value – but honestly I’ve never cared for this wall hanging). It is so open and light in there with doors to their old patio, stairs to the basement and a walkway to the kitchen. Al must love her new kitchen coming from their baby size kitchen in their old apartment. It has an island which is my particular favourite and a cut out ‘window’ (opening) in the wall to the living room. Alison has made what used to be the old living room (before the addition) into her office/scrapbooking room. I personally cannot wait to have one of these! There is a nice bathroom and spare bedroom upstairs as well as their bedroom which looks like a wall was taken out of two rooms to make it one big room. They have two large closets and again with light laminate floors and dark brown accent colors.
After the tour we sat out on the deck drinking our beer and having our heart to heart. Alison is one of my very best friends who lives too damn far away. The good thing is I always have a best friend in the town my parents live in therefore I will always get to see her at some point even if it is only once a year or less.
Alison and I started our friendship almost 2 years ago (1 year and 11 months to be exact). After 4 and a half years of working at CKF (Styrofoam factory that sucks the life out of you) I needed a change and moved out to my parents temporarily for 3 months. I got a job right away at the restaurant Kelsey`s and it was there that I met Alison. I almost always refer to her as `Al` and we were inseparable for 2 and a half of the 3 months I stayed in Lloydminster. However in total Al and I have probably only spent 2 or 3 entire months of our 2 year friendship together.

During our visit I expressed my fears and hopes regarding my disease and coming up treatment. I told her how I wanted a family and was scared I would never get to. I told her how all I really ever wanted was to be a good daughter, wife, mother and friend and that I was scared I may not accomplish that before my time was up here. She then told me how meaningful it was to have me as a friend and how she was in a really bad place when she met me and that I showed her how to live. I was her only real friend and I was headed back home to BC the second my 3 months was up. Of course we maintained our long distance friendship and honestly I talk to Alison more than anyone else in my life other than Jason and Shannon. We talk every single day thanks to Blackberry Messenger about absolutely everything from what we dreamt the night before to what we intend to make for dinner followed with pictures of our morning hair and pic`s of said dinner. She shared these things with me and we both just started bawling – it was exactly what I needed.
I got home just after 6 in time to help make the fixing for taco`s. Taco`s are still my favourite food and there was a time that had you asked me what I wanted for Christmas dinner I would have told you Taco`s hands down! In the past few years I have gained a bigger appreciation for Turkey dinner and I now like gravy!
J & I retired to the basement where we sleep to watch a movie I brought on my lap top. It was called `Untraceable` and I had seen it once before but it was a gooder... so we watched it again.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2009 - HELLO FROM THE PRAIRIES!

Yesterday was a full busy day! We were up just after 7 getting ourselves ready to come visit my family and friends in Alberta. J’s grandparents picked us up at 9:30 to take us to the Abbotsford airport and it was very warm but I was wearing black tights because the plane is always so cold. We got there in time to have a lil breakie and hopped right on our flight that came a little bit early. We started our morning with wine and beer on our flight and watched a couple episodes of Two and a Half Men! We arrived in Edmonton 10 mins early but Al (Alison) was there to greet us. Soon after Shannon and Tiffany and Baby (Dominic) showed up! It was sooo nice to see my girlfriends! We headed to Leduc to have lunch at Boston Pizza. Shannon’s boyfriend Lenny met us there also which may have been a relief for J seeing as our girl talk tends to give him a headache Lol! We had lunch and drinks and it was a nice time. By about 4 we were getting tired and decided it was time to make our trek to Lloydminster (2 ½ hrs east of Edmonton). Alison was our chauffer extraordinaire; we stopped in Mundare where we came across a huge and I mean GINORMOUS Ukrainian sausage!! BAA HA HA HA it was the funniest statue I have ever seen. I had been to the Ukrainian egg in Vegreville on numerous occasions but never had I seen a 100ft coil of Sausage. Very interesting indeed.
We continued our journey home stopping once more in Innisfree. The thing I love most about Innisfree is that it means we are almost home. I think it is approx 45 – 50 mins from Kitscoty. We stopped for gas and to take a few pictures against the perfect prairie background.

Homebound, we arrived just after 7pm. Before our official arrival, we ran into my dad at the Kitscoty store where he was making a water delivery. He looked very happy to see me as I was to see him. We chatted for a few minutes before heading to my parents house which was all of 30 seconds away. Alison came in for a little while to say hello to my mom and I showed J around and got him a beer.
My parents have a quiet cozy home 2 bedroom home with basement and although I never grew up here it still always feels like home. They have gotten some new things but the familiarity of all the things that surrounded me growing up is still very much alive in this here. A new addition I particularly love is their back deck. The deck was there before however I haven`t made it to Kitscoty in the warm months in years and wasn`t able to enjoy it quite like this. They have put up a roof thing (I have no idea what to call it) above the deck that is not fully covered but shades you from the sun. There are beautiful flowers all around, a table and chairs, a barbeque, a water fountain and my ultimate favourite is the chimes playing a serene wind song in my right ear as I type.
My mom put together a nice dinner for us and then we retired to the patio with drinks and good company. All in all it was a really nice day travelling to Alberta.

It has been almost a week!!!

HELLO!!!

I have been keeping blogposts on my laptop and will post them tomorrow when I am home :D

Alberta Bound

Good Evening All!!

J and I would like to give his Uncle Ken a big Thank you for sending us away on vacation!!! We have decided to go to Alberta to visit my girlfriends, my parents and my extended family members. I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. I have seen all of J`s baby books and I am stoked to show him mine! I was a cute child! We leave tomorrow (Wed) at 11 and will be in Eddy by 1:30. Plan is to go for lunch with Shan, Alison, Jake and Tiff and then Al will drive us back to Lloyd and we should be home in time for dinner at my parents. We will be coming home later Monday evening next week.

I had my MRI today and managed to fall asleep for 10 minutes of it. This is very hard to do seeing as it is sooo loud you have to wear ear plugs which does not mask the banging that much. The nurse injected dye into me and had to do it twice because she couldn`t get the needle in my vein. Gross! requested to have a copy of the disc and lab report which I can pick up next week. I like to have copies of their reports.

Well it is time to get some shut eye - it is almost midnight and tomorrow will be a long day!

Cheers and Goodnight!

One Of My Fave's

Katie - Trying To Catch Up!

Well first and foremost you should all know that although my apostrophe is not working... I found a second one that if I hit the shift key I magically get an apostrophe! That will do for now till my friend comes tomorrow and maybe he can fix it. I googled it to death and came up empty handed! Haven't figured out the question mark yet though.

So I am back and trying to write about the last several days! Well Thursday was kind of a write off. J and I had his surgeon appointment in Richmond. His surgeon in my opinion is a bit of a douche bag. Great surgeon but no people skills what so ever. J's grandparents drove us there which was nice of them. We went back to their house & I tried trouble shooting some printer problems they were having; however came up empty handed. Lisa came over that day as well - it was really nice to see her.

Friday was hectic. Kim picked me up just after 10 to take me to LMH for a non brain related procedure. In May my doctor found "moderate abnormal cells" on my cervix. I had to have a colposcopy at the hospital and when the results came back I was told I would have to have a procedure called LEEPS (Loop electrosurgical excision procedure). At the time I was terrified and I felt like I had bad luck... First my tumor now this... this information was given to me before I knew the tumor came back a second time. Now after a second brain surgery, medication and now facing treatment in the upcoming weeks - it really didn't seem like that big a deal. And it wasn't. Kim came with me and it was over in 15 minutes. They do localized freezing and shoot you with Adrenaline. There is a reason for that but I already forget why. It made my heart race and my leg shaky. I yapped to the doctor and nurse through the entire procedure but it was tricky not accidentally looking at the 32" LCD screen of my insides. Ohh gross... you are not meant to see your cervix - that is why it is inside. I may have fainted if I had looked. Ok enough about that. I suppose I have a few readers who don't care to know the gory details.

I had lunch that day at Baselines in Fleetwood with Kim and Nancy. I was happy to introduce them because I feel they have such similar personalities. Maybe they will find a new friend in each other through me. It wouldn't be the first time I introduced people who are now friends with each other... it seems to be my thing. i DO NOT set up blind dates however so don't get any ideas! LOL! I had a ginormous club sandwich and a couple Coors light. It was great and such a nice visit with my two friends.

Today was ok. I think I was PMS-ing all day. J and I tried to unpack some of my stuff and made a little head way but it was frustrating and overwhelming trying to make room for me. We managed to leave just after 3 for J's parents as we were going there for dinner. We went a little early because the brackets J ordered came in (for the Jack I had gotten him for his birthday) and he wanted to borrow his dad's tools and get it mounted to the hood of his jeep. 4 hours later... it was done. In the meantime I was reading my book and fell asleep on his parents couch! I woke up to J'S lips giving me a soft kiss. I was groggy and had to wake up a bit before dinner. Laurie made a roast and smooth mashed potatoes, and gravy, veggies and peas and corn. Whatta meal! I hated being on steroids and eating absolutely everything in sight... but secretly I wanted 2nds and was just too full - kinda missed the steroids tonight and tonight only!

It think that is enough of an update. I would like to eventually start writing more meaningful things that go on in my mind not just journal entries about what I do everyday. Unfortunately right now I am just too busy and stressed. I suppose once treatment starts and I am not up to much I will start doing that.

Toodle Loo!!

My Goal For Today...

My goal for today is to write on my blog. I havnt been around in the last couple days - staying busy but I want to write and I am going to... it is the only thing on my list of things to do! So this is not it; I am going to write something more substantial in a little bit!!!

Oh and a heads up... I touched something on my keyboard that is not letting me use question marks or the apostrophe. Also I cant select text to copy and paste. I am baffled and have no clue how to rectify the problem. Just in case you notice!!!

UPDATE!!

Hello everyone!

I am writing to keep you posted on what is what. A social worker from the cancer clinic called me today to give me information regarding financial aid. They don't have forms or actually do anything for you but she was able to tell me to go to the Ministry of Housing and Social Development a.k.a Welfare. So that was something cause unless you are in this situation you aren't really sure what the process is. Anyways she gave me the address and phone number and said I can make an appointment and talk to a real human being which is nice.

She also let me know that they have a support group for young people in my age group that have different forms of Cancer that meet in Abbotsford and asked if I was interested in face to face support groups. I told her I was but I wasn't sure if it was a great option for me due to the fact I am living in Langley and can not drive. Jay and I are concerned about our financial situation seeing as I have no income and I have to already have to be driven to Abbotsford Mon-Fri which will more than likely use a tank of gas every week it just doesn't seem feasible. Then she mentioned that they are starting a new online group that meets once a week online to chat... and would I be interested in that. I said oh yes absolutely! Now that I have my trusty laptop that would be great - also I am a good typist so that works for me! It hasn't started yet but I am pretty excited about it!

Next on my list to discuss: the Surrey Cancer Clinic called and gave me my Medical Oncologist appointment which is October 7th at 10:30am. I said to the girl that's kind of far away don't you think?!?! She said we apologize it is the earliest we could get you in. You see I was told by the Radiation Dr that I would be taking the chemo pill everyday while in radiation then after I would be taking the chemo pill every 28 days for 5 days. So although I'm not jumping for joy over starting treatment, I did hope that it would all start around the same time and not next week but the last week of September. I will be on Chemo for 6 months.

Then a little bit later the cancer clinic called back and had booked my appointment for my MRI. I have to have an MRI first in order for the Radiation team to "plan the treatment" I am not sure what that actually means but I find when you ask more questions and get the answers it just raises more questions. I'll save my questions for the important stuff.

In order to give me the treatment they have to make a mold of my face out of mesh and then it hardens. When I come in for treatment they put the mask over my face and then bolt it to the table. This I am not looking forward to. I am not claustrophobic or anything but there is something about being bolted to a table that just doesn't seem right!

Well I think that is all I had to say for now. If I think of anything else I shall write again! Oh and above there is a picture of the radiation machine.

Packin up and Movin out... so much to do!!!

Whoa... Exhausted!!! So I have been trying to pack up my apartment for 2 weeks now and it has been tough cause I haven't been living there - I live at Jason's. So I go back when I can to do what I can and it was feeling like nothing was getting done even though I would always come back with my car full to the brim. Finally today it feels like stuff got done; but at the cost of being sooo tired! I am very thankful that Kim made a couple trips with me today and got my ass into gear. We finished packing up my room and got it ALL to Jason's (it is living in the kitchen until I have time to go through it) went back did more. Kookie came and helped me and Kim load up my bedroom set which I am lending to her for a while.

**She just bought a brand new apartment in Chiliwack**

SHOUT OUT TO KOOKIE FOR OWNING HER OWN PLACE!!!

**It is sooo cute! She doesn`t have a bedroom set so I thought I would offer mine since I have to store it somewhere!!**

Anyways we got so much done and it felt great! Of course I have a ton to do at J`s now but at least this is home and I can work on it when I have a chance.

Speaking of Jason... he has a surgeons appointment tomorrow in Richmond that we are going to. Thankfully his grandparents are driving (I don`t care for driving to Richmond). I hope to come home and deal with some of the mess I left in the kitchen today (aka unpack and find homes for things... and get rid of shit I don`t need) I`ll keep you posted on how that actually turns out LOL!

PS J says that he really really loves me and thought I should write that.

Goodnight! xoxo

Rough Day...

Hello,

So today wasn't my favorite. We had our first appointment with the radiation specialist (Dr. Hsu) at the Abbotsford Cancer Clinic today. Good news: parking is only $2 an hour, my first wig is free and the cafeteria food was tasty, the cancer clinic is nicely decorated and doesn't look old and beaten up, and last but not least Kookie works there and is the first smiley face I am fortunate to see! Bad news: I have stage 4 (of 4) Malignant Glioblastoma - the fastest growing and most aggressive brain tumor.

Am I scared? Yes. I'm not sure what I am scared of. Of Dying? Ya a little... not so much of dying but being gone for the good stuff; & of being in pain and fading away in a hospital bed. I try to stay positive and not think of these things but they come up and sit in the back of my head. Of course it is all very fresh too. I think after a little time it will sink in and I will be back to my happy, bubbly, optimistic self. Give me until next week lol! I think about what this information does to those around me; my boyfriend and family and friends. Helping or watching someone go through these things cannot be easy. I have had several good cries today especially when faced with the thought of possibly not having children. No I don't like that thought. Most of the bad thoughts are things I make up in my head. Those will subside and be replaced with either happy thoughts or a sense of humor within the next few weeks. Everything just feels very "serious" today.

So the plan is I will be starting Radiation as soon as the Cancer Clinic can get me in for a MRI (I have only had a CT post-op) so either next week or the week after. That will be out of Abbotsford and I will have to go everyday Mon-Fri for 6 weeks. ugh! I am still waiting to hear from the Oncologist who is out of Surrey regarding my Chemo treatment. Chemotherapy is in the form of a pill and is supposed to have only mild side effects. The radiation however will cause me to loose my hair and make me very very tired and nauseated also. Hmmmm... not looking forward to that. Also they make this mesh mask of my face and then it is put over my face during the treatment and literally bolted down to the bed I am lying on in order to ensure I don't move my head at all. I am not claustrophobic but I envision Hannibal Lecter! Creepy!!!

That's all for now. I am feeling tired as I write and am thinking I could go get horizontal right about now!!

Luvs
K

NEW LAPTOP WHOA!!!!

HI FOLKS!!

I just wanted to thank Bruce, Claudia, Dave, Laurie, Barb and Gregg for getting me a laptop!! As everyone knows I will be starting treatment soon and may be very sick from it. These family members went and purchased a laptop so that I could lie in bed and still write and work on my picture projects and school work too if I feel up to it! I shouldn't say this out loud but I really want to write a book. The only reason I feel leery writing that is because I don't actually know where to start. I am considering taking some online writing courses or something because I don't actually have the education needed to write a book. I would just be winging it. Which I guess are what editors are for... but still I have no clue where to start and I would really have to narrow down and figure out what it is I want to write. My point is I have a word processor now that can sit on my lap so should the mood strike me I can write up a storm!

Come Back to see my 'Thank you' Pictures!! I can't get them uploaded at the moment :(

BLOW - The Drinking Game!!

Alright one more for today... These are pictures from when Shannon and Lenny came to visit. We had a wild night of playing the drinking game Blow.

The Scott's

I love Slide.com!! It makes making slideshows soo simple! I just made one of J's family. It is from Dave's Birthday Bash. Enjoy :)

Happy Friday!

Hi All,

So I am frustrated this fine morning! My frustration comes from not hearing anything from the cancer clinic yet. Its not their fault - they haven't received the referrals from my surgeon yet and I can't help but wonder what on earth the hold up is. Both myself and the cancer agency called his office yesterday. They actually got thru; I got the answering machine. I am in no huge hurry to start my treatment I just want to know what is going on and I have sooo many questions! Grrrrrr.....

I have plenty to do today... Laundry, unload the dishwasher... and most importantly find homes for my things in this already full house! I also would love to get back on here to write about the last couple years lol - that could take a while!!!

It's All Worth It!

Here are our Videos from the drive home. Watch the bottom one first... then the top one. All and All It's All worth it! LoL

*~*Tulameen*~*

Good Morning!

On Thursday Jason & I found out that my tumor wasn't just as easy breezy as last time and that I would have to go through treatments this time. Both Chemotherapy and Radiation. It was a shocker and we spent most of Friday emotionally up and down; so we decided to head up to his Uncle Greg's cabin in Tulameen for the weekend where his family was going to be. It was sooo much fun! We had some drinks and played some music. I was smack dab in the middle of a really good book so I got a lot of good reading time in. I was coming off dexamethasone (steriods) so I was a little bit edgy on the inside but by Monday I was good. We had good sleeps with fresh mountain air coming through the window!



~click picture to enlarge~

And it is fall again...

I find it funny how it is the first day back to school for those going back to school and the first day is always how I remember it being when I was going back to school for the first time every year. I got up at 6:30 this morning and went outside and there was frost on my car! I knew the sun would come out not because of the weather forecast but because every year the first day of school was frosty and then the sun came out. I can't remember a time when it didn't. I wish I was going back to school :( Any school... elementary, high school, college... it was frosty and now sunny and it feels like I should be going to school! I will probably be back later to write about something else! Peace Out :D

Its been 2 years... and 7 months!

Hey ya'll!!! It's been 2 years and 7 months since I have posted anything on my blog! I'd love to fill in the blanks... but that may take a while. I'll try. However that won't happen right now because I'm tired and have ice cream to eat and a boyfriend who I want to watch a movie with. This is simply a "Hello Folks... I'm BAAAACK!!!" lol

Stay tuned for more... I think I am back to stay :D