Fluff Piece

So I haven't written since Oct 26th and that also was a fluff piece! I am alive and doing well. Last week I was feeling awful and my computer made me dizzy however this week I am feeling much better but I have been busy doing things since I feel well and have put off writing. (MILK MILK MILK) Also I was waiting to get pictures of me in the radiation room which I successfully have now. So I will try to stop putting it off and start writing... I do have interesting things to share about my experience thus far!!!

A special thanks to Shannon for helping me with the title of this blog entry! Lol

Respect Thy Shaver...

Here I am... Only a 2 weeks later!

Where do I even start?!?! Perhaps I will tell you a little bit about the Head Shaving Party we hosted on Sunday. I am not sure if you are ever `ready`to shave off 12 inches of long hair but by Sunday afternoon I felt as ready as I suppose one could feel. It was never my intention to shave it before I started treatment rather than do it a week or two into it. In my case however my treatment start date kept changing and finally when I found a day everyone said yes to I just decided to stick with it. My closest friends were in attendance - Hayley, Kookie, Sarah, Kate, Laura, Nancy, Kim, Christina and Lisa then Shannon and Alison joined us via Web cam (love technology!) and both Raff and Cam were there to keep J sane while all of the `BOK BOKKING` between the `Chickens` was going on. (By the way that means – ‘girls talking’ in Jason`s world) I could hardly blame him; 9 women in one room... 3 of which are pregnant! Eck. Everyone brought some sort of appy so we had tons of food from cheese and crackers to veggie platters to egg rolls! It was sooo yummy. And then there was wine..lots and lots of wine. Probably not the smartest of me seeing as it dehydrates you and my first treatment appointment was at 8:48am the next morning!

Our guests arrived at 4 and I think we didn`t start the festivities until around 6 or 7. Perhaps it was a little unconscious procrastination on my part. We spent time chatting and catching up and trying to get our Web Cam buddies in the room with us flawlessly. Shannon joined us first and met Kim and Cam for the first time. She was very fond of Cam because he spent the most time chatting with her. It was like she was in the room though on my 17” computer screen! Alison tuned in a little while later and met those she had never met and said hello to everyone she knew. Kate seemed to be the designated photographer... but as it turned out I came up with a huge amount of pictures on my camera!

Laura gave me a wig and hair products for it that was passed along from a work friend of hers who had cancer also. It is a really cute bob and I managed to get a picture of almost all of my friends in it. Super cute! Cam drew me a really nice card which everyone had signed and I loved it! Also they all put in to give me some money to purchase a wig of my own choice. It was a great start to my evening. We also gathered around to take a group shot of the ladies. One was nice, and one was goofy.

Finally we got the show on the road and prepared for the shaving of my head. I thought we’d lay a sheet out or something but I was convinced by everyone else that sweeping it off the laminate would be easiest. I wouldn’t know because I was not the cleaner upper. Nancy braided my hair into a tidy braid... and Jason came along and snipped it off. It was then passed around and ended up and Cam’s pho beard braid. (It looked better on me I assure you!) The first hair cut looked kind of cute and the second I defiantly looked like a butchy dyke (scuse my Japanese). It was fun and good laughs though. At some point Hayley had created a short Mohawk also. Everyone at my lil gathering gotta take hair off my head.

After about an hour of this malarkey Cam did the finishing touches and perfected my buzz cut! And we took a ton of pictures. Unfortunately we never managed to get a nice picture of my new non - existent hair with no one else in it. (Sorry mom... I’ll work on getting you one). Then to make things a little spicier... Jason sat his butt in the chair and decided last minute that it was his turn and he would shave with me. Cam shaved him old man style which was hilarious and then off with the rest of it. After all of that I got a little bit emotional (I was a little tipsy also) and Jason and I hopped into the shower to wash off the little whiskers all over ourselves.

In the meantime... Wiser was having a swell visit with Lou Bear (Kate’s yorkie) and Picca (Sarah’s kitten) running around and tearing up the house.

I think this is all for tonight. Since shaving my head I have been opened up to a new world. First off I look not half bad with a shaved head surprisingly! I have a nice shaped head; something I suppose you would not know until the hair is off. More importantly it is cold having no hair – I don’t know how guys do it without wearing a toque and ear muffs constantly. It was extremely hard not wearing a toque to bed for the first week. And lastly it is pretty neat having a 3 minute shower with time to spare! Not to mention that “towel drying” literally means “running the towel over your head to dry it”!!! LOL! There is a bright side to everything :D

Just a Quickie

Hey ya'll!

So here's the scoop... I have tons to say about my weekend and my shaved head and my first treatment however I spent most of today not feeling good or sleeping sooo I am hoping I feel a little better tomorrow and can spend my entire afternoon writing to you.

Bedtime! Love ya all! XOXO

The wait continues...

So my radiation and chemo start dates keeping getting pushed back and it has been interfering with plans of getting it started and over with!!! Well what can you do right?!?! I was supposed to start Monday then it was changed to today then the radiation receptionist called yesterday and said it had been postponed again until next Monday (Oct 26) but she didn't know why because "she is just the receptionist". He did want to see me today though. I was a little bit nervous for two reasons. One: I knew they did blood tests to check my kidneys and liver and I knew my kidneys were fine but hadn't heard back on my liver. Surely 3 years of wine drinking didn't destroy my liver right? Second: Every time I have an appointment with a specialist no matter how it goes I feel really crappy and am a write off for almost 2 full days after. I suppose my mind just goes around in circles and I get really down and turn into a hopeless lazy mess.

Luckily both fear 1 and 2 were canceled out by the end of my appointment today and on top of that I got some answers as to why they continue to postpone this very critical treatment.

Its bad but not as bad as having a shot liver at 27 (or finding out you have stage 4 brain cancer)! Basically the problem is that the space in my brain that needs to be radiated drapes down below my right eye therefore making the path of one of the radiation lasers go through my eye. The physicists are trying to work out the angles so they can get the empty spot in my head with the least amount of damage to my eye. This (the laser through the eye) will potentially cause crucial damage to my eye in terms of blindness if they can not adjust my treatment plan to lower the rate of risk. This is why my radiation Doctor would like my treatment plan revised until they can get it right. I would prefer to have the lowest percentage of risk possible! Unfortunately he did say that I will get cataracts from my treatment (which is covered by BC Medical to be removed in the future) and he said I would develop glaucoma within a couple years also. My side effects during the treatment time in regards to my eye will be red and itchy as he says they will not be able to avoid having the laser go through the back of my eye.

As you can imagine there are tons of various side effects I will potentially get throughout the next 6 weeks of treatment. The biggies are fatigue and nausea which are symptoms of both radiation and chemo. The radiation will also leave my skin (in the area of the treatment) discolored like a sunburn or tan - in my case I am certain it will sun burn. I may have balance problems and he said I would experience problems with things like math... I am not upset over this seeing as I have never been good at math even a little bit! The biggest concerns with the chemo is my WBC (white blood cell count). My immune system will be down at this time and it is best for me to NOT get sick or injure myself. I did ask about whether I could go ahead and get my gray ribbon tattoo and he said it would be best to wait simply because I will be more prone to infection at this time. Also there is a new vaccine coming out in the next week I believe to prevent the H1N1 virus. They have recommended I go to my family physician for this shot because a virus like this could kill me and as you know... it is going around.

I think that is all that went on today. I have been given next Monday now as my start date however I have not received a time. Dr. Hsu said it could be pushed back again but if I don't hear from their office on Friday, call him on Monday to get an update. I hope to hear from them because although I am not looking forward to this awful experience... its time I feel like we are doing something about it.

Oh I remember... I do have more to say (Ha don't even pretend you were surprised!) He also told me that I will loose my hair in the area of my treatment and in addition to that I will loose hair where the laser exits my head which will be the back of my head on the left hand side. So my plan of shaving my head has been finalized and will be taking place this Sunday night. I am terrified but also feel as though I am taking a stand against this disease and taking control of one of the few things I have control over. Soooo.... I got my first wig today at the wig room in Abbotsford Cancer Center! It was free and it is short. It was the only wig in the room that wasn't permed and gray. The funny part about that is even if many of the cancer patients are women over 40 - what makes anyone think that they want GRAY hair by choice ha ha! Seems very backwards to me. I would like to have a wig that is long hair either brown or reddish so I may do a little looking around.

I made tacos for dinner and watched the hockey game (we beat Chicago) and we had J's grandparents over for a visit. Ok I think that is all for now for real. Love ya all!

~*~PEACE OUT~*~

Our Little Bundle of Joy!

Haven't been around in a couple days. Been Busy living life rather than writing about it. I have new kitten photos that I have to put up on here. Wiser is never ending entertainment for us. He is sleeping now after a playful morning. It has been a whole week since he had an accident in our bed! He is sporting a new collar that J bought him at Petsmart. It is a Harley Davidson one and he doesn't love it but is getting used to the idea. He got his first taste of steak this morning. I am not a huge fan of cats eating off our dinner plates but Jason spoils him a bit. He liked the steak... and now they are both taking naps; digesting their food I guess. Lucky boys if you ask me... getting steak, eggs, toast and hashbrowns for their Saturday morn feast!

Wiser is a pleasure to have around. He attacks our feet though and I am afraid Jason encourages this behavior (especially when its my feet). I have resorted to wearing my slipper booties almost always lol. He doesn't get into too many things he shouldn't however he likes 'cords' such as computer cords and tv cables. We have had to put the Kibosh on this. Also I have caught him trying to scale up the curtains on several occasions in which case he got squirted with the spray bottle... his least favorite form of punishment. Another thing he likes I found out yesterday is shopping. Well not shopping but hanging out in the cart. I got a few cute pictures of this.

For the most part it is tricky to get mad at his sweet little face.

Good Afternoon

Howdy

We had a productive couple days. Tuesday was spent putting up all of my shelves and pictures on the walls. Re- creating the bedroom so that things fit better and so there is sufficient walking space. On my side there is my memory board and a picture collage I had made for myself as well as my Halloween scrapbook Alison made me last year, a picture of my mom as a child and a large mirror and my bookshelf. I hung two scrapbooked frames that I made a few years back of pictures of our family in Kelowna and a fan that Kookie brought me from the Philippines. I decorated the area a bit with my dying lucky bamboo, a photo album and pictures of my parents and their sisters when they were young. Those photos never actually made it to a wall before and generally lived on a shelf somewhere. It is looking really nice.


J's side of the room has my other bookshelf and he put up the big paintings that I bought years ago for my Langley apartment. Of course he also has a 52" tv on his side of the bed! He also has a lil area that he uses to keep his bass and its dressed up all boyish lol. The big plisner sign and his Raiders pennet and a danger sign.<


In all, our bedroom has become quite homey after our little transformation. I enjoy my time in here and feel that it is a calming atmosphere. Especially when I burn my scented oils from the body shop!

As for the living room, Jason has scattered some of my things throughout and found homes for my little nick knacks as well as hanging my shelves. He has hung my clocks and my kitchen pictures and every room now has a little taste of me in it :D I think it is safe to safe our apartment now feels like my home.

What are you Thankful for?!?

So we just had another Thanksgiving weekend! Whoa the dinners were absolutely amazing. Jason and I had a barbecue at his friends house in White Rock on Saturday night. Then ham, scalloped potatoes, beets, yams etc etc at his parents house on Sunday night. Monday night we were at Kim and Raff's for a huge turkey dinner. Whoa I think I will be full for a week!

This brings me to my next topic. What are you Thankful for? Every year in this season I stop to think about what I am truly thankful for in this life. Honestly it does not change a whole lot from year to year.

This year I am Thankful for:

*My Parents and Family - For giving me a childhood that was full of so much love that I attribute it to making me who I am today. For always being supportive of me no matter what dumb life decision I make. For helping me out financially even when I don't deserve it. And mostly for being amazing role models who I always look up to and who never give up on me.



*My Friends - Near or far my girlfriends have served as my lifeline. I thank them for having fun with me, crying with me, laughing with me and sharing my everyday life. You have been loyal and honest with me, helpful and considerate, my happiness and my shoulder. To each and everyone of you - I have a little piece of you in me. You are my friends because you all add to who I am and individually and as a group make me stronger and contribute to my rounded personality. I love you very much and wouldn't want a life that you weren't apart of no matter how much or how little. (I considered writing individual thank you's... but I would end up spending days on it so I will save it for when I am sick.)



*My Jason - I am so Thankful and grateful to have you. I wasn't in the whole settling down mode for quite some time and then one day I looked into your eyes and you were all I wanted. I am lucky you are here and I can't imagine my life right now without you in it. You make me happy and smiley and you drive me crazy too. I want to be a better person for you and I love you. No one makes me feel loved, wanted and needed the way you do.



*Wiser - Although I have had my little Wiser for only a week I am thankful that this little energetic fur ball has taken a true liking to me and keeps me company. He has made me fall in love already! He is my little friend and I am so happy to be spending my time with him.



*A home - I am thankful to have so many places to call home. I have the roof over my head that Jason welcomed me into as well as my parents house that although I never grew up in it, I feel like it is home every time I am there. For my many friends homes whether with their families or boyfriends... when I am with you I know I am at home.

The list really could go on and on... but for today I will leave it at that. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and take the time to remember what you are Thankful for.

In case I don't have enough friends... I got one more... just in case.

Good Morning!

As most of you know by now Jason and I have gotten a new addition to our family, making us a family of 3. His name is Wiser and he is a fluffy little gray furball kitten. He was 9 and a half weeks old when we got him and full of energy and love.

Last week Jason suggested that I get a kitten to be my little companion through the rough times ahead. I couldn't believe it. He pretends to hate cats and he calls them shitrats; I always believed deep down that he really had a soft spot for them! I started looking Wednesday afternoon and on Thursday morning I found an ad on Craigslist of the exact kitten I was looking for. J and I had narrowed it down to wanting a fluffy gray male. I called Cindy (the women with the kittens) half an hour after she posted the ad and she said she would be home after 4 and she would call so I could come take a look. I had arranged for Sarah to come with me because although Jason apparently does like cats... I figured this part wasn't truly up his alley.

Sarah and I ventured to pets mart to pick up the essentials... kitty litter, food, a pan, brush and a few toys. I managed to only spend 60 bucks in there but it would have been easy to spend more on toys for sure! We made our way to Cindy's house where there were 3 kittens. One blackish red calico and 2 gray ones. I held Wiser first and then the other gray kitten who was smaller and was lighter gray with a whiter belly. I fell in love with Wiser first and when it seemed hard to choose I thought of Jason. 'What would Jason want?' Then it was easy. You see Wiser was special because he was a polydactyl kitten meaning he had 6 toes on his front paws... making them huge and shaped like mittens. I knew for sure J would love this 'feature' and so he is the kitten I brought home.

I was right of course! Jason was thrilled about his special paws and told me I had brought home the perfect kitten who we named Wiser immediately!!! Wiser settled in very quickly. He was exploring our bedroom and was playful with us within the hour. He was eating and cleaning himself. All was well until Jason yelps, "I think he is peeing on my leg!' I looked at him and chuckled and said NO I don't think so. Sure enough the warm yellow liquid streaming out of our kitten onto the bed and on his leg... was Wiser peeing on him. I am not going to lie I was baffled because I knew Wiser knew where his pan was as he had jumped in and out of it several times. I had never had a kitten who did not instinctively know to use his litter pan immediately after being placed in it a couple of times. To make a long story short this went on Thursday night through to Saturday morning. We got 3 pees and a poo on our bed while we were in it!!!

I felt so confused because he wasn't stressed or scared and yet he kept doing it. We picked up tips on what to do from everyone... and tried them all. I am pleased to announce - our little bundle of joy has made it 2 full days without peeing or pooing anywhere other than his litter box!!! As of today he is now allowed out of the bedroom to explore the rest of his home!

All Cried Out...

Wednesday Jason and I went to meet my Medical Oncologist in Surrey. The man responsible for planning my chemotherapy treatment. His name is Dr. Al-Tourah and he was the most honest with us then any doctor to date. Unfortunately he said he is not in charge of my entire case and that the man overseeing everything is Dr. Tsu my radiation Oncologist. I didn`t care for Dr. Tsu too much but Jason liked him. My MO (medical Oncologist) layed out the severity of my case and told me that I had not been given a prognosis from previous doctors because they don`t know how to categorize my tumor due to its rarity. A glioblastoma by itself has a prognosis of 1 to 3 years after diagnosis. I have a Oligodendroglioma that mutated into a Glioblastoma therefore making my tumor slightly different then either of the two on their own. He told me that I was tested for a particular cell gene that shows whether chemo works well to kill your cells. I tested positive meaning that my cells will not respond as well to chemotherapy treatment as someone who didn`t have this gene. It is called retention of heterosigosity (gene is 1P19Q) The idea of course is to have chemo treatment as a way to weaken the cells before the radiation strikes it. I will have to take a chemo Temozolomide everyday an hour before my radiation, as well as anti-nausea medication (stronger than gravel).

There wasn`t much else to this appointment. He gave me my prescription for my anti-nausea meds which will be filled along with the temozolomide on the first day of my radiation treatment. BC medical pays for the chemo but not the other medications. I am lucky to live in Canada or I probably would have been dead by now.

Every time I come home from a specialist appointment... I feel off and emotional all day long. Almost as though I just start to wrap my head around all of the information and accept it and then it is all dug up again. I really didn't talk to anyone much on Wednesday after my appointment but the days since then have been better. In any case I am ok now and am all cried out for the time being.

Poke me one more time... and I may just hit you!

Today was my CT simulator appointment at the Abbotsford Cancer Clinic. They were trying out the mask they made on Friday to make sure their radiation plan is in sync with the machine. The mask was tighter than it was on Friday when it was made; they warned me it would be. Christina picked me up and took me there. We visited with Kookie for 10 minutes before I went down to level 0 where my radiation appointments take place. I have a cubby hole (#41) where I keep my hospital gowns and my clothes when I am in my appointments. Today was a longer appointment but it wasn't too bad other than the IV. I have stubborn veins. The nurse said that my veins are doing what they should be doing which is to move away from foreign objects (the needle). This however didn't suit me (damn bloody veins) as it meant being pricked with that thick long needle more than once. Eventually she got it and I was ok. They hooked me up to a pint of saline solution and let it drip in a half hour before the CT. Then they put the contrast (a dye so they can see into my brain better) into my drip. It feels warm and fuzzy in my throat on its way up to my head. After the CT was done I had to lie on a bed so that the rest of the saline could drip into my vein. They give me saline to keep me hydrated as the contrast dehydrates me. I was done around 4 and Christina came to pick me up and take me home.

Off to Surrey Memorial on Wednesday to meet the Medical (Chemo) Oncologist! Stay tuned!

Sunny Sunday Morning's Make Me Smile :D

Good Morning World!!

I don't know why I am acting like I am up soo early... it is 10am! I actually woke up to a message from Shan this morning telling me she got a $200 speeding ticket on her way to school in Edmonton. That sucks - but was bound to happen eventually - Sorry Shan I'm truly shocked it hadn't happened sooner. You see on Hwy 16 there are so few cars you can drive between 140 and 170 without slowing down for a good hour or so... so you do. Well I am sure my folks don't but it is a lot of open straight road!

Okay moving along. I was going to write about the horrible ending to mine and Sarah's move but now it is over with so I don't really want to get back to that topic. I will say this... we got out and our landlord still likes us and would have us live there again in a heartbeat. She was very sad to see us go.

Now for the juicy stuff! Let me first say I went with Sarah to HER doctors appointment on Thursday and since he is also my doctor I stole a bit of her appointment to ask him a few questions of my own. I was unclear and confused as to whether there was one person who over saw all areas of my tumor case and who exactly that would be. My family physician Dr. Smith told me it generally is the Medical Oncologist who over sees everything. I have yet to meet this doctor but I hope I like him/her. My appointment on Wednesday is with the Medical Oncologist in Surrey and he/she is the one who will be administering my chemo treatment. Also my Radiation Oncologist told me they probably would not do surgery on me again however my doctor believed this to be untrue. Which is good. I don't love surgery or the lasting effect it has on me during the long recovery period however I would rather having surgery every year to be on this earth another 10 years.

Friday I had an appointment at the Abbotsford Cancer Center to have my mask made. The mask (or shell as they call it) is a mesh (looks like squash racket) material that they form to your face and upper chest which hardens soo tightly to the skin so you can not move a millimeter during treatment. The making of the mask wasn't too bad... in fact it was kind of cool. If you were in the least claustrophobic this would be a life sucking procedure. I liked to think of it as a facial of some sort.

While lying on the treatment table my 3 radiation specialists explained what they were about to do. The soak a solid plastic in warm water and when it is ready they put it on my face and the 3 of them stretched it down past my shoulders to where it must be bolted to the table. This mask will be put on me everyday when I have treatment - again Thank God I am not claustrophobic! Then I could feel all 6 hands all over my face molding the mask to all the grooves and lines my face has. (that was the cool facial feeling part) My eyes were closed so it was easy to imagine it as a mud bath of some sort. They told me to keep breathing and that I was doing great... but I already knew this as I was enjoying it instead of fearing it. Then the part I didn't like started. Once they formed the mask to their liking they put cold fans at my face so it would dry faster. They were only there for approx 5 mins but it was soo cold! oh yes the other down side to this mask making was that I couldn't talk because the mask seals your lips shut! 10 minutes with no talking - TORTURE!!! LoL!

The mask hardened and they took it off and that was that. I go back on Monday at 2 so they can give me a CT and I go into a simulator of the treatment machine to make sure the lasers are lined up and will zap what they are supposed to zap.

Heinz 57 - As in I'm playing KETCHUP with my blog posts!

Hello!

Just a quick note to say finally I am done writing about my Alberta trip. Phew. I have more to write about my move and then onto the juicy stuff! I had my mask fitting today for my radiation that starts next week and Jason took some great photos for me to share with you. Unfortunately you will probably have to wait until tomorrow to check them out as I would like to post them when I write about it and I am pooped and need to fold laundry now and eat! Stay tuned!

Luvs,
Katie

THANK YOU MOM FOR ALWAYS CORRECTING MY SPELLING MISTAKES!

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2009 - 5 days flies when your having fun!

You woke up this morning,
Got yourself a gun,
Mama always said you’d be
The Chosen One...

I wake up to this Sopranos tune every morning as my cell phone alarm and it was no exception Monday morning... we had a time crunch because we had places to go and people to see. The agenda for the day included getting up and showered so we could head to Smitty’s for breakie and visit Alison one last time before we were headed back home. We were out the door and got to the restaurant just before 11 and Dad left work early to meet us as well as Shannon. We sat in their little lounge and let Alison serve us. I opted for lunch food this time and had a club house. YUMMY! We took some pictures and had a nice time. After that it was off to Wal-Mart for Jason and I to get our portraits taken at my mother`s request. We had to wait for what seemed like forever while the lady helped some Hutterites fill out their passport application (I did not realize their job description included this and I was fully annoyed at how long we had to wait when WE made an appointment). She took lots of pictures of us and they actually turned it out pretty nice! We ordered enough for our close friends and family and I am not sure when they come in but my mom will be sending them my way when she gets them. I am pretty excited!
Jason and I drove home after as my mom had to stay behind and start work. We went home and packed and got ourselves together for our travels. Dad came home around 3 to spend our last couple hours together. Shannon arrived just after 5 to pick us up; she was taking us back to the airport on her way back to Drayton Valley. When she arrived we said goodbye to my father and were on our way. Shannon had brought 2 prezzy`s (presents) one from her and one from Al. Al bought me a new Jodi Picoult (author of My Sister`s Keeper) book I hadn`t read yet – The Pact; and Shan bought me the brand new and only 5th book by Dan Brown (author of The Divinci Code and Angels and Demons – great books) called The Lost Symbol. Oh boy I was sooo excited. My girls know me well even down to my favourite authors.
We were making record time as I had suspected because this is just how Shannon rolls. We stopped in Vegreville to get our picture taken in front of the egg and we stopped again in Mundare because I was disappointed I did not get a photo taken with the huge Ukrainian Sausage! It was so cold and windy at both stops!
We made it to the airport with very few minutes to spare before we had to be at our gate. Everything went smoothly though and we got on our plane and were off in the air before we knew it. Edmonton to Calgary is only a 35 minute flight. We had a short wait of about 30 minutes in Calgary and then were on another plane off to Abbotsford. It was raining when we arrived (haha big surprise) and thankfully I had gotten a hold of Kim earlier in the day to see if she could pick us up at the airport. Her and Raff were there to greet us as we unloaded ourselves off the plane and into the Abbotsford airport. It was nice to be greeted by friends.
We had such a good time at my parents and wished we could have stayed longer. We didn`t get home until 11:30 at night and were right pooped (it was 12:30 AB time) I fell asleep within 20 minutes!

A big THANK YOU to my parents for putting up with us and feeding us; to Shan and Al for being my girlfriends and visiting with us all week; to Auntie Colleen and Uncle Bob as well as Pat and Danny for their very nice and generous cards and to Irene for making me a beautiful crocheted blanket. Most importantly an even bigger Thank you to Jason`s Uncle Ken and family for giving us the funds to be able to go to Kitscoty in the first place.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 2009

Sunday was rough for Jason waking up but I was up bright and early by about 8am. It was nice being up early so I could visit with my mom and dad. I spent the early afternoon helping my mom prepare for the 14 people we had invited for dinner (a barbeque that could no longer take place outside due to the cold cold wind). Our plan for dinner was hot dogs and hamburgers along with a pasta salad and a broccoli salad that my Auntie Colleen was bringing. We also had a few simple appetizers which included my crab dip on crackers, tortillas, cheese and salsa as well as a cheese, garlic sausage and crackers. I think a few of us nearly filled up on the appy’s. People started arriving around 5ish. Our guests included Auntie Colleen and Uncle Bob, Pat and Danny, Claire and Scott, Oliver and Andrea, Alison and Curt, Shan, and of course Jason, myself, and my parents. There is not much to say about Sunday other than the dinner because it was all about that! I may have volunteered Jason to be the designated ceaser maker and he did a fabulous job of it... and then he got such a bad headache he had to lie down. We all got ceasers before hand luckily!
Our dinner was awesome but I think my favourite part was the log we had for dessert! I love ice cream cake! It was a big hit! After everyone cleared out J and I went to bed and watched Two and a Half Men till we fell asleep.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 2009 - "The Wheatie"

Saturday morn went like this for me: woke up at 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11 until I finally got out of bed. Alison had been up for a bit watching ‘Ever After’ on TV and talking to Shan on BBM (Blackberry Messenger) and she had coffee already made. Both Al and I had a bit too much to drink the night before and both of us had been sick. Felt pretty great in the morning though! We visited and had coffee and waited for the boys to eventually wake up which wasn’t until after 12 sometime. The plan for breakfast was to go to Smitty’s (Alison’s place of work) and then we would go our separate ways. We made it there by 1:15 and I had strawberry French toast for breakie. After breakfast Jason and I headed to Dairy Queen to pick up some ice cream cake for our BBQ Sunday night.
Home by 3, we were able to shower and relax for a little while before starting dinner. It was a group effort for dinner. Mom had made rhubarb crisp and carrots for dinner, I made roasted potatoes, Jason sautéed onions and mushrooms and my dad barbequed steaks. It was a tasty dinner!
Our plans for the evening included heading to the “WHEATIE” for drinks and pool (actually called the Wheatfield Inn and has a little restaurant and tavern attached). The appeal for me has always been the free popcorn! I told the girls we would be there at 8 and I think we walked in the door at 8:03. Both Shannon and Alison were already there and Curt had decided to stay home due to his sore back. I started my evening with a Coors light... and it was good. It wasn’t long before we were pumping twoonies into the juke box. Those in attendance were Jason and myself, Shannon, Alison, Stacey and her boyfriend Gary and their friends Jason and Jade. My father met us there also; J and him played a few rounds of pool. There were some good laughs especially when Alison decided it was snowing – and it most defiantly was NOT snowing! Jason and I were home and in bed just before midnight... it was a great time.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 2009 - HOME, HOME ON THE RANGE!

Today wasn’t the windy mess yesterday was. Again I spent the morning outside just me and my lap top writing away. Mom made us breakie – pancakes with blueberries and bacon and her homemade syrup. It was the earliest Jason had gotten up since being here. We were all out the door by one; family trip into Lloyd. We stopped at Wal-mart first because mom has a co-worker friend who had something to give me. We met up with her and she had crocheted a blanket for me. It is black with an edge on it of all different colors. It was really nice of her. We looked around in Wal-mart at clothes. As most people have heard me complain, I no longer fit into any of my clothes and cannot afford new ones; this makes it extremely hard to ever feel good about myself. You know how people say ‘why is that girl wearing something so tight that shows her belly?’ well I know why now... quick weight gain and unable to afford anything new. That is my boat and I am in it. So mom bought me a new pair of jeans, a black vest and a purple pink Floyd t-shirt. I love the vest and not going to lie I didn’t love the jeans but I seriously have one pair of jeans to wear right now so I have to take what I can get... at least these jeans fit me comfortably.
After Wal-mart we made our way to the Interval House (a thrift store in Lloyd). Alison and I had been there the day before but it had closed. Luckily we find out that they had the ‘Fill the bag for $5 dollars’ sale running this week on Wed, Thurs and Fri! So between J and I filled a bag and sure enough it was $5! He got a really nice pair of jeans and a T-shirt and I ended up with 2 pair of jeans, a T-shirt and a hoodie. I liked these jeans for $1.20 so much I feel I could take back the ones we got from Wal-mart.
The next errand on our list was to take Jason to Saskatchewan soil. Lloydminster is the only city in Canada that is split between two provinces. There are large orange poles on the side of Hwy 17 marking the border down the middle of Lloyd. Well actually most of Lloyd is in Alberta but the older parts seem to be in Sask. We went down the hwy a few minutes until we hit the ‘Saskatchewan Visitor Info’. It was closed as was the museum but J was happy to have his picture taken with the old tractor there to mark the significance of him having been to Saskatchewan. I wish we would have had time to drive down to Saskatoon because I think it is a beautiful city.
We headed back to Kitscoty so that we could get ourselves ready to go back out to Al’s house. I showered and did my hair and then J and I took my dad’s lil black ford into town. When we arrived at Alison’s both her sisters and niece were there. I got to say hello to Andrea and Angela. Callie was getting whiney so Andrea left just minutes after we arrived and Andrea and Angela managed to get in a fight that left Ang at Al’s house with no ride home. The four of us (Al, Curt, J and I) took off for OJ’s (Original Joe’s) for dinner. All four of us ordered fish and chips for dinner and we shared Calamari and Wings as our starters. It was a nice evening out.
We were back at Al’s by 8:30 and got started on making a fire in their fire pit outside. We had some music going and some beer. By 9:30 we had 8 people around the fire laughing and chatting. We must have been out there until midnight; J and I stayed overnight in their spare bedroom which had the same bedding (exactly the same) as J’s did at home. IKEA!!!

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 2009 - WHOA A MOUTHFUL!

One of the pleasant little quirks about this house is that when sleeping in the basement you hear every footstep taken upstairs. It creaks like the floorboards are 200 years old and at any minute the floor could give way. I actually really like the sound however it could become a nuisance to someone who wakes to every noise made. Jason seemed to sleep through it just fine. I have been getting up early but not because of the creaking which starts at approximately 5am in this household.
I spent my morning out on the patio in the sun with the chime songs in the background, writing on my computer. I can’t get an internet connection here in Kitscoty so I have been writing these blog entries on Word and will post them when I can. Jason woke up around noon and we had nice breakfast together. Then he went back downstairs to watch TV and get more ZZzzzz’s. I had made plans with Alison to go to the Interval House (Thift store) because on Thursdays they have a ‘Fill a bag for $5 dollars’ Sale. She came to pick me up after work at 3 and we went there but it was closed already  We also dropped by Claysmore (My father and Aunt’s water company) because Al needed to fill her water jug and so I could say hello to Auntie Colleen and Uncle Bob who were both there. So after the disappointment of the thrift store being closed we got some beer and thought it was time for Alison to show off her new home (as of June 09) to me. I was sooo excited because I she had sent pictures of her new place and I had heard a lot about it but had yet to see it.
She lives on the Alberta side of Lloydminster, in a peaceful little neighbourhood. Her house is very cute. There is an addition to the house that is a big open living room with light laminate flooring and their big blue sturgeon on the wall (apparently it has sentimental value – but honestly I’ve never cared for this wall hanging). It is so open and light in there with doors to their old patio, stairs to the basement and a walkway to the kitchen. Al must love her new kitchen coming from their baby size kitchen in their old apartment. It has an island which is my particular favourite and a cut out ‘window’ (opening) in the wall to the living room. Alison has made what used to be the old living room (before the addition) into her office/scrapbooking room. I personally cannot wait to have one of these! There is a nice bathroom and spare bedroom upstairs as well as their bedroom which looks like a wall was taken out of two rooms to make it one big room. They have two large closets and again with light laminate floors and dark brown accent colors.
After the tour we sat out on the deck drinking our beer and having our heart to heart. Alison is one of my very best friends who lives too damn far away. The good thing is I always have a best friend in the town my parents live in therefore I will always get to see her at some point even if it is only once a year or less.
Alison and I started our friendship almost 2 years ago (1 year and 11 months to be exact). After 4 and a half years of working at CKF (Styrofoam factory that sucks the life out of you) I needed a change and moved out to my parents temporarily for 3 months. I got a job right away at the restaurant Kelsey`s and it was there that I met Alison. I almost always refer to her as `Al` and we were inseparable for 2 and a half of the 3 months I stayed in Lloydminster. However in total Al and I have probably only spent 2 or 3 entire months of our 2 year friendship together.

During our visit I expressed my fears and hopes regarding my disease and coming up treatment. I told her how I wanted a family and was scared I would never get to. I told her how all I really ever wanted was to be a good daughter, wife, mother and friend and that I was scared I may not accomplish that before my time was up here. She then told me how meaningful it was to have me as a friend and how she was in a really bad place when she met me and that I showed her how to live. I was her only real friend and I was headed back home to BC the second my 3 months was up. Of course we maintained our long distance friendship and honestly I talk to Alison more than anyone else in my life other than Jason and Shannon. We talk every single day thanks to Blackberry Messenger about absolutely everything from what we dreamt the night before to what we intend to make for dinner followed with pictures of our morning hair and pic`s of said dinner. She shared these things with me and we both just started bawling – it was exactly what I needed.
I got home just after 6 in time to help make the fixing for taco`s. Taco`s are still my favourite food and there was a time that had you asked me what I wanted for Christmas dinner I would have told you Taco`s hands down! In the past few years I have gained a bigger appreciation for Turkey dinner and I now like gravy!
J & I retired to the basement where we sleep to watch a movie I brought on my lap top. It was called `Untraceable` and I had seen it once before but it was a gooder... so we watched it again.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2009 - HELLO FROM THE PRAIRIES!

Yesterday was a full busy day! We were up just after 7 getting ourselves ready to come visit my family and friends in Alberta. J’s grandparents picked us up at 9:30 to take us to the Abbotsford airport and it was very warm but I was wearing black tights because the plane is always so cold. We got there in time to have a lil breakie and hopped right on our flight that came a little bit early. We started our morning with wine and beer on our flight and watched a couple episodes of Two and a Half Men! We arrived in Edmonton 10 mins early but Al (Alison) was there to greet us. Soon after Shannon and Tiffany and Baby (Dominic) showed up! It was sooo nice to see my girlfriends! We headed to Leduc to have lunch at Boston Pizza. Shannon’s boyfriend Lenny met us there also which may have been a relief for J seeing as our girl talk tends to give him a headache Lol! We had lunch and drinks and it was a nice time. By about 4 we were getting tired and decided it was time to make our trek to Lloydminster (2 ½ hrs east of Edmonton). Alison was our chauffer extraordinaire; we stopped in Mundare where we came across a huge and I mean GINORMOUS Ukrainian sausage!! BAA HA HA HA it was the funniest statue I have ever seen. I had been to the Ukrainian egg in Vegreville on numerous occasions but never had I seen a 100ft coil of Sausage. Very interesting indeed.
We continued our journey home stopping once more in Innisfree. The thing I love most about Innisfree is that it means we are almost home. I think it is approx 45 – 50 mins from Kitscoty. We stopped for gas and to take a few pictures against the perfect prairie background.

Homebound, we arrived just after 7pm. Before our official arrival, we ran into my dad at the Kitscoty store where he was making a water delivery. He looked very happy to see me as I was to see him. We chatted for a few minutes before heading to my parents house which was all of 30 seconds away. Alison came in for a little while to say hello to my mom and I showed J around and got him a beer.
My parents have a quiet cozy home 2 bedroom home with basement and although I never grew up here it still always feels like home. They have gotten some new things but the familiarity of all the things that surrounded me growing up is still very much alive in this here. A new addition I particularly love is their back deck. The deck was there before however I haven`t made it to Kitscoty in the warm months in years and wasn`t able to enjoy it quite like this. They have put up a roof thing (I have no idea what to call it) above the deck that is not fully covered but shades you from the sun. There are beautiful flowers all around, a table and chairs, a barbeque, a water fountain and my ultimate favourite is the chimes playing a serene wind song in my right ear as I type.
My mom put together a nice dinner for us and then we retired to the patio with drinks and good company. All in all it was a really nice day travelling to Alberta.

It has been almost a week!!!

HELLO!!!

I have been keeping blogposts on my laptop and will post them tomorrow when I am home :D

Alberta Bound

Good Evening All!!

J and I would like to give his Uncle Ken a big Thank you for sending us away on vacation!!! We have decided to go to Alberta to visit my girlfriends, my parents and my extended family members. I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. I have seen all of J`s baby books and I am stoked to show him mine! I was a cute child! We leave tomorrow (Wed) at 11 and will be in Eddy by 1:30. Plan is to go for lunch with Shan, Alison, Jake and Tiff and then Al will drive us back to Lloyd and we should be home in time for dinner at my parents. We will be coming home later Monday evening next week.

I had my MRI today and managed to fall asleep for 10 minutes of it. This is very hard to do seeing as it is sooo loud you have to wear ear plugs which does not mask the banging that much. The nurse injected dye into me and had to do it twice because she couldn`t get the needle in my vein. Gross! requested to have a copy of the disc and lab report which I can pick up next week. I like to have copies of their reports.

Well it is time to get some shut eye - it is almost midnight and tomorrow will be a long day!

Cheers and Goodnight!

One Of My Fave's

Katie - Trying To Catch Up!

Well first and foremost you should all know that although my apostrophe is not working... I found a second one that if I hit the shift key I magically get an apostrophe! That will do for now till my friend comes tomorrow and maybe he can fix it. I googled it to death and came up empty handed! Haven't figured out the question mark yet though.

So I am back and trying to write about the last several days! Well Thursday was kind of a write off. J and I had his surgeon appointment in Richmond. His surgeon in my opinion is a bit of a douche bag. Great surgeon but no people skills what so ever. J's grandparents drove us there which was nice of them. We went back to their house & I tried trouble shooting some printer problems they were having; however came up empty handed. Lisa came over that day as well - it was really nice to see her.

Friday was hectic. Kim picked me up just after 10 to take me to LMH for a non brain related procedure. In May my doctor found "moderate abnormal cells" on my cervix. I had to have a colposcopy at the hospital and when the results came back I was told I would have to have a procedure called LEEPS (Loop electrosurgical excision procedure). At the time I was terrified and I felt like I had bad luck... First my tumor now this... this information was given to me before I knew the tumor came back a second time. Now after a second brain surgery, medication and now facing treatment in the upcoming weeks - it really didn't seem like that big a deal. And it wasn't. Kim came with me and it was over in 15 minutes. They do localized freezing and shoot you with Adrenaline. There is a reason for that but I already forget why. It made my heart race and my leg shaky. I yapped to the doctor and nurse through the entire procedure but it was tricky not accidentally looking at the 32" LCD screen of my insides. Ohh gross... you are not meant to see your cervix - that is why it is inside. I may have fainted if I had looked. Ok enough about that. I suppose I have a few readers who don't care to know the gory details.

I had lunch that day at Baselines in Fleetwood with Kim and Nancy. I was happy to introduce them because I feel they have such similar personalities. Maybe they will find a new friend in each other through me. It wouldn't be the first time I introduced people who are now friends with each other... it seems to be my thing. i DO NOT set up blind dates however so don't get any ideas! LOL! I had a ginormous club sandwich and a couple Coors light. It was great and such a nice visit with my two friends.

Today was ok. I think I was PMS-ing all day. J and I tried to unpack some of my stuff and made a little head way but it was frustrating and overwhelming trying to make room for me. We managed to leave just after 3 for J's parents as we were going there for dinner. We went a little early because the brackets J ordered came in (for the Jack I had gotten him for his birthday) and he wanted to borrow his dad's tools and get it mounted to the hood of his jeep. 4 hours later... it was done. In the meantime I was reading my book and fell asleep on his parents couch! I woke up to J'S lips giving me a soft kiss. I was groggy and had to wake up a bit before dinner. Laurie made a roast and smooth mashed potatoes, and gravy, veggies and peas and corn. Whatta meal! I hated being on steroids and eating absolutely everything in sight... but secretly I wanted 2nds and was just too full - kinda missed the steroids tonight and tonight only!

It think that is enough of an update. I would like to eventually start writing more meaningful things that go on in my mind not just journal entries about what I do everyday. Unfortunately right now I am just too busy and stressed. I suppose once treatment starts and I am not up to much I will start doing that.

Toodle Loo!!

My Goal For Today...

My goal for today is to write on my blog. I havnt been around in the last couple days - staying busy but I want to write and I am going to... it is the only thing on my list of things to do! So this is not it; I am going to write something more substantial in a little bit!!!

Oh and a heads up... I touched something on my keyboard that is not letting me use question marks or the apostrophe. Also I cant select text to copy and paste. I am baffled and have no clue how to rectify the problem. Just in case you notice!!!

UPDATE!!

Hello everyone!

I am writing to keep you posted on what is what. A social worker from the cancer clinic called me today to give me information regarding financial aid. They don't have forms or actually do anything for you but she was able to tell me to go to the Ministry of Housing and Social Development a.k.a Welfare. So that was something cause unless you are in this situation you aren't really sure what the process is. Anyways she gave me the address and phone number and said I can make an appointment and talk to a real human being which is nice.

She also let me know that they have a support group for young people in my age group that have different forms of Cancer that meet in Abbotsford and asked if I was interested in face to face support groups. I told her I was but I wasn't sure if it was a great option for me due to the fact I am living in Langley and can not drive. Jay and I are concerned about our financial situation seeing as I have no income and I have to already have to be driven to Abbotsford Mon-Fri which will more than likely use a tank of gas every week it just doesn't seem feasible. Then she mentioned that they are starting a new online group that meets once a week online to chat... and would I be interested in that. I said oh yes absolutely! Now that I have my trusty laptop that would be great - also I am a good typist so that works for me! It hasn't started yet but I am pretty excited about it!

Next on my list to discuss: the Surrey Cancer Clinic called and gave me my Medical Oncologist appointment which is October 7th at 10:30am. I said to the girl that's kind of far away don't you think?!?! She said we apologize it is the earliest we could get you in. You see I was told by the Radiation Dr that I would be taking the chemo pill everyday while in radiation then after I would be taking the chemo pill every 28 days for 5 days. So although I'm not jumping for joy over starting treatment, I did hope that it would all start around the same time and not next week but the last week of September. I will be on Chemo for 6 months.

Then a little bit later the cancer clinic called back and had booked my appointment for my MRI. I have to have an MRI first in order for the Radiation team to "plan the treatment" I am not sure what that actually means but I find when you ask more questions and get the answers it just raises more questions. I'll save my questions for the important stuff.

In order to give me the treatment they have to make a mold of my face out of mesh and then it hardens. When I come in for treatment they put the mask over my face and then bolt it to the table. This I am not looking forward to. I am not claustrophobic or anything but there is something about being bolted to a table that just doesn't seem right!

Well I think that is all I had to say for now. If I think of anything else I shall write again! Oh and above there is a picture of the radiation machine.

Packin up and Movin out... so much to do!!!

Whoa... Exhausted!!! So I have been trying to pack up my apartment for 2 weeks now and it has been tough cause I haven't been living there - I live at Jason's. So I go back when I can to do what I can and it was feeling like nothing was getting done even though I would always come back with my car full to the brim. Finally today it feels like stuff got done; but at the cost of being sooo tired! I am very thankful that Kim made a couple trips with me today and got my ass into gear. We finished packing up my room and got it ALL to Jason's (it is living in the kitchen until I have time to go through it) went back did more. Kookie came and helped me and Kim load up my bedroom set which I am lending to her for a while.

**She just bought a brand new apartment in Chiliwack**

SHOUT OUT TO KOOKIE FOR OWNING HER OWN PLACE!!!

**It is sooo cute! She doesn`t have a bedroom set so I thought I would offer mine since I have to store it somewhere!!**

Anyways we got so much done and it felt great! Of course I have a ton to do at J`s now but at least this is home and I can work on it when I have a chance.

Speaking of Jason... he has a surgeons appointment tomorrow in Richmond that we are going to. Thankfully his grandparents are driving (I don`t care for driving to Richmond). I hope to come home and deal with some of the mess I left in the kitchen today (aka unpack and find homes for things... and get rid of shit I don`t need) I`ll keep you posted on how that actually turns out LOL!

PS J says that he really really loves me and thought I should write that.

Goodnight! xoxo

Rough Day...

Hello,

So today wasn't my favorite. We had our first appointment with the radiation specialist (Dr. Hsu) at the Abbotsford Cancer Clinic today. Good news: parking is only $2 an hour, my first wig is free and the cafeteria food was tasty, the cancer clinic is nicely decorated and doesn't look old and beaten up, and last but not least Kookie works there and is the first smiley face I am fortunate to see! Bad news: I have stage 4 (of 4) Malignant Glioblastoma - the fastest growing and most aggressive brain tumor.

Am I scared? Yes. I'm not sure what I am scared of. Of Dying? Ya a little... not so much of dying but being gone for the good stuff; & of being in pain and fading away in a hospital bed. I try to stay positive and not think of these things but they come up and sit in the back of my head. Of course it is all very fresh too. I think after a little time it will sink in and I will be back to my happy, bubbly, optimistic self. Give me until next week lol! I think about what this information does to those around me; my boyfriend and family and friends. Helping or watching someone go through these things cannot be easy. I have had several good cries today especially when faced with the thought of possibly not having children. No I don't like that thought. Most of the bad thoughts are things I make up in my head. Those will subside and be replaced with either happy thoughts or a sense of humor within the next few weeks. Everything just feels very "serious" today.

So the plan is I will be starting Radiation as soon as the Cancer Clinic can get me in for a MRI (I have only had a CT post-op) so either next week or the week after. That will be out of Abbotsford and I will have to go everyday Mon-Fri for 6 weeks. ugh! I am still waiting to hear from the Oncologist who is out of Surrey regarding my Chemo treatment. Chemotherapy is in the form of a pill and is supposed to have only mild side effects. The radiation however will cause me to loose my hair and make me very very tired and nauseated also. Hmmmm... not looking forward to that. Also they make this mesh mask of my face and then it is put over my face during the treatment and literally bolted down to the bed I am lying on in order to ensure I don't move my head at all. I am not claustrophobic but I envision Hannibal Lecter! Creepy!!!

That's all for now. I am feeling tired as I write and am thinking I could go get horizontal right about now!!

Luvs
K

NEW LAPTOP WHOA!!!!

HI FOLKS!!

I just wanted to thank Bruce, Claudia, Dave, Laurie, Barb and Gregg for getting me a laptop!! As everyone knows I will be starting treatment soon and may be very sick from it. These family members went and purchased a laptop so that I could lie in bed and still write and work on my picture projects and school work too if I feel up to it! I shouldn't say this out loud but I really want to write a book. The only reason I feel leery writing that is because I don't actually know where to start. I am considering taking some online writing courses or something because I don't actually have the education needed to write a book. I would just be winging it. Which I guess are what editors are for... but still I have no clue where to start and I would really have to narrow down and figure out what it is I want to write. My point is I have a word processor now that can sit on my lap so should the mood strike me I can write up a storm!

Come Back to see my 'Thank you' Pictures!! I can't get them uploaded at the moment :(